Page A4 September 2024 By Nancy Weil Recently my daughter attended the retreat where I had been so many years ago. The one which inspired the article I am reprinting again. She went into that sweat lodge and when the first wave of steam hit her face, she was out of there. Before she left efforts were made to make her comfortable. She was reminded to breathe. They told her she could lift the covering by the doorway and let some light and cooler air come in until she had adjusted to the heat. Encouragement was given, but in that moment all she wanted to do was leave. This was not like a hot yoga class. She told me it was not the dark that bothered her, but the thickness of the air when the water was poured over the hot stones. In that moment she did not want support, she wanted relief. So, she left. She does not regret her decision. She is happy that she gave the experience a try. It was just not for her. How often do we face something unfamiliar and realize it is not what we expected it to be? Our response to this situation may be based on fear (get me out of here), or facing a challenge (bring it on), or perhaps surrender (let it go). In many instances we have the choice to opt out, leave, or extricate ourselves from an uncomfortable feeling. We also have the choice to give ourselves some grace when it doesn’t work out as we thought it would. Sometimes trying equals success. My daughter’s experience had me think about this article I wrote about my first sweat lodge experience. I think it still has value to remind us of what a sweat lodge has to do with grief. Hope you enjoy it again…or for the first time. Imagine that you are in a small enclosed placed sitting on a cold, hard floor in total darkness. The heat begins to climb as you wonder how you will be able to take a breath. The fear begins to rise from within and all you can think about is how to escape. And you are aware that you have put yourself in this place precisely because it scares you. Random Musings Serving as Member Resources Director at the International Order of the Golden Rule, Nancy Weil brings her years of experience working in the funeral industry to funeral directors across the globe. Her professional experience includes serving as Director of Grief Support and Community Outreach at Veterans Funeral Care in Clearwater, FL and at eleven cemeteries in Western New York. Nancy travels throughout the country offering presentations on how to reduce stress, combat compassion fatigue and offer support for those who are grieving through her company, The Laugh Academy. With certifications as a Grief Services Provider and Grief Management Specialist, Funeral Celebrant, Soul Injury Ambassador and Laughter Leader, Nancy is uniquely qualified to bring new perspectives into how to best meet the needs of the families you serve. For more information on how Nancy can help you and your company grow, visit her website: www.TheLaughAcademy.com or email Nancy@ TheLaughAcademy.com. FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS www.NomisPublications.com Monthly Columnsonline at A Hand in the Dark This is the situation I found myself in when I took part in my first sweat lodge. A small, tarped hut becomes a sauna of sorts, as you partake in an ancient ritual that is steeped in Native American traditions. The idea is to cleanse yourself – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually of all that no longer serves you. When I entered the lodge, all I thought was that darkness, heat and confined spaces don’t serve me. I was scared. Then it happened. As we began, the leader called out to me, “How are you doing, Nancy?” I answered back, “Freaking out.” In that moment, my partner in life reached out in the darkness and held my hand. Rather than run for the door, I took strength in his presence and I stayed. As the singing began, I realized that I was breathing and that this was actually fun. Round after round I embraced the experience and realized that the fear was nothing more than that: False Evidence Appearing Real. The process freed me to know that most of the things that keep us from what we want, are really inside ourselves. When I returned to work following that experience, I realized that grief can be like my sweat lodge experience. While each person grieves their loss in their own way, what you may need in order to make it through your grief is simply a hand to hold on to until you can emerge from the darkness. Everyone has fears to wrestle with. “How will I make it through without my loved one?” you may wonder. “What if …?” and “How can I ever ….?” These thoughts come up again and again. You may feel trapped by your sadness and unable to see the way to happiness and peace. Yet with the help of someone to guide and support you, that hand that reaches out when you most need it, you will find your fears assuaged and peace returning for a moment or two. There will even come a day when you are the hand that reaches out to a newly bereaved person and provides the hope they need as they travel through their own dark moments. We receive…we give…we heal. And a hand reaches out in the dark And calms my worried soul. It brings me comfort and takes me to a place within that is serene - A place that I did not know existed in me. I grasp your hand and know that I will survive whatever challenges lay ahead. I grasp your hand and take strength from knowing that there is someone who cares. I need a watchful eye over me while I wrestle my fears and Heal my hurting heart. My soul feels safe with you beside me and I know That as long as I hold onto you I will have new eyes that can see in the darkness And I will rise above the despair and embrace the light. www.derma-pro.net sales@derma-pro.net Nadene Cover-Up Cosmetics Ltd. A name you know... ...Products you trust 800-531-9744 Fax 903-641-0383 www.PearlsPremium.com (508) 653-0800 American Cemetery Magazine “2024 Innovator of the Year” See Booth 117 at CCC LANCASTER COUNTY,PA— Third-generation funeral director, Charles F. “Chad” Snyder III, owner of Charles F. Snyder Funeral Homes & Crematory, has been appointed to the Pennsylvania State Board of Funeral Directors. Charles F. Snyder Funeral Homes & Crematory has been a part of the Lancaster County community since 1947, originally started by Chad’s grandfather, Charles F. Snyder. Chad grew up watching his grandfather and father Charles F. “Chip” Snyder, Jr, serve the people of Lancaster County, PA before joining the funeral profession himself in 2004. As a member of the Pennsylvania State Board of Funeral Directors, Chad hopes to put to use his and his family’s years of experience in the funeral profession to serve as a bridge between state policy makers, the general public, and funeral directors in the state of Pennsylvania. “Funeral service is a deeply compassionate profession, and with it comes a tremendous level of responsibility,” said Chad. “I am honored to represent the hard-working funeral directors in Pennsylvania, the next generation of funeral service professionals, and to serve the citizens of Pennsylvania.” As a voice for the funeral directors of Pennsylvania, Chad Garden of Remembrance Memorial Park Welcomes Congregation Or Chadash as its 31st Partner Congregation CLARKSBURG,MD— The Garden of Remembrance Gan Zikaron Memorial Park has announced that Congregation Or Chadash in Damascus, MD has become the 31st partner congregation of the Washington region’s Jewish nonprofit community cemetery. “Geographically, Or Chadash is the closest synagogue to our Memorial Park,” notes Glenn Easton, executive director of the Garden of Remembrance. “We are pleased to welcome our neighbors and serve the families in their congregation at their greatest time of need,” he concludes. Founded in 1984, Congregation Or Chadash is known for its excellent religious education and its open and inclusive attitude. Rabbi Alison Kobey has served as the Rabbi and education director of the Reform synagogue since 2009. The Garden of Remembrance includes partner congregations from Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, and Renewal synagogues and serves families who are not currently affiliated a congregation. A partner agency of the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington, the 152-acre memorial park is a certified Level I Arboretum, a Hybrid Green Burial Cemetery, and a Forest Conservation Preserve. The Garden of Remembrance Memorial Park is located near Interstate 270 (Exit 18) at 14321 Comus Road in Clarksburg, MD. For a complete list of the Garden of Remembrance’s thirty-one partner congregations and additional information about the Memorial Park, visit www.gardenofremembrance. org or call 301-428-3000. Chad Snyder Appointed to Pennsylvania State Board of Funeral Directors Charles F. Snyder III aims to help the state implement professional standards that will allow funeral professionals to bring the highest quality care to Pennsylvania families and their loved ones, just as Chad and his team strive to do for the families they serve at Charles F. Snyder Funeral Homes & Crematory. Chad hopes that the high-quality care they provide at the family-owned funeral home can help guide his efforts to influence the policy enacted by the Pennsylvania State Board of Funeral Directors, while he also hopes to learn from his fellow funeral directors to provide even better service to Lancaster County. “I have a great deal of pride in leading a company and team known for its exceptional care and delivery of exceptional and meaningful funeral services,” said Chad. “My goal is to both share the practices that have benefitted our community members and learn more from my peers to continue to improve our services. Collaboration and connection are the keys to excellence. I’d like to thank our team, my wife Lee Shand Snyder, senator Scott Martin, senator Ryan Aument, and our governor Josh Shapiro for their appointment and trust in me.” Charles F. Snyder Funeral Homes & Crematory has been family-owned and operated for three generations in Lancaster County, PA. They offer both burial and cremation services at each of their six locations as well as products and services through their monument company, Heritage Monuments. Snyder Funeral Homes is well known for their excellent care and for their involvement in the community, evidenced by the Penn Square Clock they donated to the City of Lancaster in 2016. Learn more at snyderfuneralhome.com.
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