NEWSSEPTEMBER 2022 Family Owned and Operated Since 1974 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY P O BOX 5 1 5 9 , YO U N G S T OWN, OH I O 4 4 5 1 4 1 - 8 0 0 - 3 2 1 - 7 4 7 9 WWW. NO M I SPU B L I C AT I O N S. C O M P r e v i o u s l y P u b l i s h e d a s t h e YB News • S t i l l t h e P l a c e f o r Yo u r N ew s ! B.E. Brown & Company Opens State-of-the-Art Facility Ward’s Funeral Supplies 912-309-9295 you can count on Ward’s for your funeral supply needs. www.wardstransportservice.com $1,300.00 WTS Standard Cot $2,500.00 $1,400.00 Junkin High Rise WTS High Rise MOBILE,AL— After over 50 years of serving in the deathcare industry and 44 years serving Mobile, AL and surrounding communities, Bobbie E. Brown Sr., CFSP, will finally realize his dream of owning his own funeral home. Jessica BrownBell will also realize her dream of working alongside her dad, as together they announce the B.E. Brown & Company Mortuary. “I always wanted to be a mortician,” says Bobbie. But since his family was poor, he struggled to determine how he could go to mortuary school. “My first cousin told me, ‘Go into the Navy, and they would assist with paying for your schooling,’” he says. And that’s exactly what he did. He attended Jefferson State Community College in Birmingham, AL for nine months majoring in Mortuary Continued on page A26 Q&A with Justen Wright of House of Wright Mortuary as They Celebrate 35 Years By Laurie Esposito Hartley Justen A. Wright, CFSP, CCO, of House of Wright Mortuary and Cremation Services, Inc. spoke with Nomis Publications about celebrating 35 years in the industry. Nomis Publications: The mortuary is celebrating its 35th anniversary this year. Can you tell me about its history? Justen Wright: The House of Wright Mortuary and Cremation Services, Incorporated was established with humble beginnings on August 9, 1987 by founders, Mrs. Deborah A. Wright and the late Robert O. Wright I, CFSP with their two sons Robert O. Wright, II and Justen A. Wright, CFSP at their side. House of Wright Mortuary hosted a Community Day on the 35th anniversary of the firm’s founding. Continued on page A2 www.NomisPublications.com @Nomis.Publications Like Owen Family Funeral Homes joins Titus Funeral Home See Page A20 Custom Keepsake Memorial Markers by Bereave See Page B1 Rocketman Tech Offers New Embalming Machine: The B2-Balmer See Page B7 Classified Ads Shipping Directory Index of Advertisers
Page A2 September 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Published Monthly by: Nomis Publications, Inc. PO Box 5159, Youngstown, OH 44514 1-800-321-7479 FAX 1-800-321-9040 www.nomispublications.com email@example.com Subscription: United States $30.00 - Canada/Mexico $60.00 Circulation 21,000 per issue. Overseas rates available. Deadline for Press Releases: 5th of the Previous month. Advertising: Display Ad rates sent upon request. Classified and Shipping Directory rates published in each issue. All advertising must be received by the 5th of the previous month. Due to the vast amount of sources, the publisher is not responsible for the content of any news articles or advertisements. Nor is the publisher responsible for any loss of revenue by failure to insert an advertisement. The contents of any advertisement submitted for publication are only the publisher’s responsibility if the error is made by the publisher’s typesetting department, and then only to the extent of the typesetting charges. Advertisers are responsible for adhering to individual state regulations regarding advertising. The contents of any news article submitted for publication is subject to editing and is published at the sole discretion of the publisher. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any news article or advertisement. The contents of this publication may not be reproduced, in whole or part, without the exclusive consent of Nomis Publications, Inc. Editor: Margaret (Peggy) Rouzzo © 2022 by Nomis Publications, Inc. ISSN 1944-1126 Funeral Home & Cemetery News Online at www.nomispublications.com Online Directories US & International Funeral Homes • Supply Companies Cemeteries • Pet Memorialization Companies Trade Associations • Plus Much More... www.nomispublications.com Like @Nomis.Publications FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS NOTICE The FUNERAL HOME AND CEMETERY NEWS is now sent in two parts. Section A, which includes pages A1-A40 and Section B, which contains the Classified Advertising and consists of pages B1-B24. If you do not receive both sections please call 1-800-321-7479 or email firstname.lastname@example.org. 800 - 321 - 7479 ~ www. Nom i sPu b l i c at i on s. com S E N D U S Y O U R N E W S W e w e l c o m e n e w s o f t h e i n d u s t r y Send us information on your firm today! FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Need Help Putting Your Press Release Together? Call Peggy at 800-321-7479 ext. 220 email Peggy@Nomi sPubl i cat i ons.com fax 1-800-321-9040 mail PO Box 5159, Youngstown, OH 44514 Send us any press release related to your firm which would be of interest to your fellow industry professionals. All press releases are published free of charge and at the discretion of the publisher. Be sure to include any photographs. Staff additions. . . Staff promotions. . . Anniversaries. . . Apprenticeships. . . Remodel ing. . . Moving. . . New Ideas. . . Community Service Projects. . . Graduates. . . Obituaries. . . etc. Over the years, the business has expanded from one founding location at 208 East 35th Street, Wilmington, DE 19802 to include three additional locations in Smyrna, DE; Penns Grove, NJ; and Milford, DE, which will open soon. NP: Can you tell me about yourself, your background, and your role with the House of Wright Mortuary? Justen: I am a Certified Funeral Service Professional (CFSP), Certified Crematory Operator (CCO), second-generation funeral director, manager, and entrepreneur who has been working in our family business, The House of Wright Mortuary and Cremation Services, Inc. since its inception. I graduated from mortuary school at the age of 18, served as an apprentice unContinued from Front Page Q&A with Justen Wright House of Wright Mortuary hosted a Community Day on August 9, its 35th Anniversary Scholarship Presentation at Penns Grove High School, Carneys Point, NJ Scholarship Presentation at Howard High School, Wilmington, DE der my father, the late Robert O. Wright, and received my Delaware funeral director’s license at the age of 20. Since then, I have also obtained licenses to practice funeral service in Maryland, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey. Currently, I serve as District II Governor in the National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association overseeing Delaware; Maryland; Washington, DC and Virginia. Previously, I have served in various roles including councilman for the city of Wilmington and president of the Delaware State Funeral Directors Association. NP: Are you planning a celebration for your 35th anniversary? What will that entail? Justen: The celebratory events commemorating the 35th anniversary began in June with scholarship awards to graduating seniors who attend the following schools in the local communities that we serve: Howard High School, Salem High School and Penns Grove High School. We also hosted a staff, family appreciation day in Penns Grove on July 10, 2022 and our annual community day and book bag giveaway was held at our Wilmington location on August 9, 2022. The House of Wright will also be participating as a vendor at the 2022 August Quarterly, the oldest African American religious celebration in the nation, where we will distribute House of Wright 35th Anniversary Souvenirs to commemorate our anniversary. NP: Do you provide any community services or events? Justen: The House of Wright has always been engaged in the community by hosting community days and book bag giveaways, awarding scholarships, supporting various community-based organizations and their initiatives. The House of Wright also offers complementary aftercare services, such as an annual memorial service, virtual grief counseling and comfort calls, just to name a few. NP: What is your philosophy in dealing with grieving families? Justen: The House of Wright treats every family with the same dignity and honor we would offer our own family. We compassionately offer comfort and the professional services needed at the right time. As a dignified caregiver to the deceased, The House of Wright Mortuary’s founder, owner and staff are sensitive servants to the living and committed contributors to the community. NP: Is there anything that you’d like to express to your fellow funeral professionals? Justen: Funeral service was the first love of our founders. This love and commitment to providing exemplary service to the families we serve was passed down to me and my staff. We remain steadfast in our obligation to invest in our business, staff, and the community at large. We will continue in our tradition, which was founded on faith and creating memorable moments for the families we serve. I encourage my colleagues to remember the oath that we took and to continue to hold it sacred. Columns Aftercare by Linda Findlay. .............................................................................. A8 Bright Ideas for Funeral Directors by Mark Bowser...................................... A18 Embalming 101 by Wally Hooker.................................................................... A16 HearseHub by Mike Jamar................................................................................ B6 Memoires des choix des Jacque by Kate Frediani-Gorman.......................... A32 Museum Corner............................................................................................... A34 Observations by Steven Palmer..................................................................... A12 Powerhouse Marketing With Welton by Welton Hong..................................... A6 Random Musings by Nancy Weil...................................................................... A4 Rest In Peace Mr President by Todd Van Beck.............................................. A22 Working With Widowers by Fred Colby.......................................................... A20 Monthly Features Classified Ads. .............................................................................................. B17 Shipping Directory........................................................................................ B14 Calendar of Events........................................................................................ B2 Death Notices. ............................................................................................... A38 Association News. ......................................................................................... A29 Educational News.......................................................................................... A33 Suppliers News................................................................................................B1
Page A3 September 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A View Online For Pricing! MODEL # 4BX 4 Body Mortuary Cooler View Online For Pricing! MODEL # 3BX 3 Body Mortuary Cooler Cots not included Scan QR for our website View Online For Pricing! MODEL # TR3 Triple Cot Roll-In Mortuary Cooler 1-888-792-9315 Chicago, IL (312) 940-7084 • Atlanta, GA: (470) 833-1393 Los Angeles, CA: (323) 982-3515 • New York, NY: (917) 793-5391 Columbia, SC: (803) 769-8153 Pittsburgh, PA: (412) 515-3019 Dallas, TX: (469) 498-1935 View Online! QUICK SHIP Mortuary Storage Racks 100% American Made • Triple Powder Coat Finish • High Impact Swivel Locking Casters Fastest Lead Time in the Industry • Custom Sizes Available Weight Capacity: 600 lb. per tier DISCOUNTED FREIGHT 3 Tier Side or End Load 4 Tier Side or End Load View Online! IN STOCK SHIPS TODAY! 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com 140 Kwickway Lane, Building #7 • Johnson City, TN 37615 • Email: email@example.com MADE IN USA
Page A4 September 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Custom Statues Bronze or Marble. Delivery in 120 days. One-of-a-kind sculptures. Starting at $9,500. Contact Gregory Cave firstname.lastname@example.org 516-456-3663 or visit www.statuemaker.us Burial Cradle CasketsSM Bay Memorials Zerbel’s Proportionally sized for Miscarried, Stillborn, & Newborn Babies Available in 10”, 20”, 30” allowing you to tastefully care for even the smallest baby with all the compassion every parent desires for as low as $48.00 Appropriate For Viewing Available in 10”, 20”, 30” Flannel Lined Unisex Juvenile Pattern White Corrugated Cardboard Beginning at $20.00 321 S. 15th St. • Escanaba, MI 49829 • 906-786-2609 • Fax 906-786-2692 • www.baymemorialsbabycaskets.com Infant Cremation Containers By Nancy Weil Many years ago, I created a magnet to gift to my friends and co-workers that summed up my philosophy on life. On it were three simple statements: I am open. I am willing. I am present. These three words were my daily goals, even though I did not always achieve them. However, I believe that by living into these statements, personal growth occurs, anxiety lessens and life truly opens up. I am Open What does it mean to you to live openly? For some it is living authentically to who they are. For others it may mean open to possibilities and new opportunities. Perhaps being open translates into looking at different points of views and hearing others out, even if you disagree with them. When you decide to be “open” you allow things in. There is a pause that occurs before you discount something as being “not for you.” Living openly means listening with a whole heart and being willing to try something new. Things in life can only shift when viewed through an open door. I am Willing This seems simple on the surface. Say “yes” and you’ve achieved this point…but have you really? Sometimes “no” can also be a response to a “willingness.” Such a confusing conundrum. There have been times when I was willing to investigate an opportunity, only to realize that it was not a good fit for me and so I turned it down. To me being willing, means you will look at each invitation as they come in, research what is being offered and then decide how you want to respond. Living with a “willing” spirit may show up as accepting a new role or task in the workplace, setting a fitRandom Musings ness goal (even if you don’t reach it) or even trying a new restaurant in your area. When you are willing to look into or try things, then you are no longer living stagnantly and there is room for growth and joy. I am Present Ah…this is a tricky one. Everyone would like to think that they are living in the moment, but it is a rare time that we actually are. We are so distracted by multi-tasking or even multi-thinking, planning, plotting, doing that this moment escapes us. So often we are living in the past – reviewing decisions we made or didn’t make and feeling guilty or regretful for it. Other times we are living in the future – projecting what may happen or planning for how we want it to be. However, we all know that neither of those places are where we need to be. Be Here Now is the motto to emblazon on your screensaver. It is only in the present moment that we find relief. Rarely do we look into the future and see rainbows and unicorns. Usually, we are concerned about what might happen, even though it rarely does. Being present means we stop and notice what is happening around us.What do we hear, see, smell, experience? How are we feeling at this very moment? Are we liv- Serving as Member Resources Director at the International Order of the Golden Rule, Nancy Weil brings her years of experience working in the funeral industry to funeral directors across the globe. Her professional experience includes serving as Director of Grief Support and Community Outreach at Veterans Funeral Care in Clearwater, FL and at eleven cemeteries in Western New York. Nancy travels throughout the country offering presentations on how to reduce stress, combat compassion fatigue and offer support for those who are grieving through her company, The Laugh Academy. With certifications as a Grief Services Provider and Grief ManagementSpecialist, FuneralCelebrant, Soul InjuryAmbassador and Laughter Leader, Nancy is uniquely qualified to bring new perspectives into how to best meet the needs of the families you serve. For more information on how Nancy can help you and your company grow, visit her website: www.TheLaughAcademy.com or email Nancy@TheLaughAcademy.com. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at ing into a moment or just witnessing it with our cellphone so that we have a post for our social media accounts? When my dad was a little boy, he waited in a very long line with his mother and brother to see Santa Claus. By the time they reached him it was lunchtime. Santa placed my dad on his lap and asked, “What would you like little boy?” My dad looked into Santa’s eyes and said, “I am hungry. I think I would like a sandwich.” Let us live our lives like that. Aware of our needs and willing to ask for what we want. Let us vow to be open to life as it is happening and live with an open inner door that welcomes in new opportunities or viewpoints. Let us grow each day through living with these three tenants: I am Open. I amWilling. I am Present. By doing so, it can change your life. I know it changed mine. I am open. I am willing. I am present. Are You? New Garden of Remembrance Memorial Center & Chapel to be Dedicated nonprofit memorial park. Founded in 1999 by the leadership of Washington Hebrew Congregation, the Garden of Remembrance was formed to serve the Greater Washington, Maryland, and Northern Virginia Jewish community one family and one congregation at a time, explains Levine. Twenty-nine congregations including Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, and Renewal synagogues have chosen to partner with the Garden of Remembrance to serve their members and families, explains Kenneth Marks, board chair of Gan Zikaron since its inception. The building of a Chapel at the memorial park enables us to fulfill our mission to serve both the affiliated and unaffiliated members of the JewCLARKSBURG,MD— Fulfilling a twenty-year dream, The Garden of Remembrance (Gan Zikaron) Memorial Park in Clarksburg, MD will dedicate its new Marilyn & Raymond Greenberg Memorial Center and the Tina & Albert H. Small, Jr. Memorial Chapel on Sunday, November 13, 2022, announced Hank Levine, president of the ish community at their time of need, concludes Marks. In addition to the Greenberg and Small families, several additional generous philanthropic families have provided Continued on page A14 We welcome news of the industry! Send us information on your Firm today! info@Nomi sPubl i cat ions. com CALL 1-800-321-7479 FAx 1-800-321-9040 PO Box 5159 , Youngstown, OH 44514 www.Nomi sPubl i cat ions. com FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Send Us Your News!
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Page A6 September 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A www.vischerfuneralsupplies.com By Welton Hong Welcome to the final part of this two-part series about growth marketing. As I explained last month, growth marketing is a type of marketing that’s becoming more prevalent across all types of industries. Born of growth hacking, which refers to measures startups and software companies take to grow quickly, growth marketing focuses on driving success through better customer relationships, increased loyalty, and loops that inherently grow your business. Now let’s dig into the remaining two elements of growth marketing: North Star Metrics A North Star metric is the clever name for a single key performance indicator you can use to guide the growth of your firm and understand whether the business is healthy overall. This growthmarketing term gets its name fromPolaris, the North Star. For centuries, sailors and other explorers used Polaris as a guide in the northern hemisphere. The bright, easy-to-locate star helped them navigate across vast seas, oceans, and plains long before GPS was even a dream in some modern inventor’s mind. If you know anything about historic navigation techniques, you know that people couldn’t rely solely on the North Star. They also used various constellations and a complex series of measurements and math to guide them. Deathcare firms, then, can’t drop all their other data in favor of a single North Star growth metric. Instead, they should identify a metric that helps them find their way to success while also using other KPIs. Choosing the right North Star metric is the first step. Look for a metric that: • Applies to all your clientele, products, and service lines • Is within your control as much as possible • Can be measured—easily if possible • Can be measured within time boundaries, such as per day, week, month, or quarter, so you can compare success as you grow Once you identify a North Star metric, find ways you can work to improve it. Doing so usually improves your services and processes, resulting in positive impacts to other metrics too. If you’ve missed our other posts in the four-part growth marketing series, go back to find out more about how growth marketing works and how deathcare firms can use growth loops to increase conversions and revenues. Using Emerging Channels Emerging channels are new opportunities for marketing or connecting with consumers. They might be truly new channels, such as the app Clubhouse in 2021, or new features on existing channels, such as Instagram Reels in 2020. In some cases, emerging channels are well-established platforms that have not been used in a certain industry. For example, Discord is a voice, chat, and video app that people use for a variety of purposes, including building communities around specific topics. For the right deathcare firm, Discord might offer growth opportunities. However, the platform isn’t currently being used for this purpose on any type of scale, making it a potentially emerging platform within the industry. Should Deathcare Firms Invest in Emerging Channels? The benefit of adopting emerging channels early is that you can connect with new audiences before the channels become oversaturated and highly competitive. The biggest downside of investing in emerging channels is that you’re often acting as a pioneer of sorts, which can be a gamble. Growth Marketing for Deathcare: Additional Elements Powerhouse Marketing with Welton Given those factors, deathcare firms must carefully consider the potential risks and rewards when investing in emerging channels. First, ask yourself what the business purpose is. You shouldn’t try to show up on all possible channels just to do so—you need a reason for adopting a new channel. For example, if you’re expanding your audience and want to attract younger preplanners, you may start investing in TikTok. It’s also a good idea to take it one channel at a time. Take small steps for reduced risks to test channels and then invest more time and resources as you see results. Adopt one new channel at a time, growing it to success or discarding it as not viable, before you move on to another channel to reduce the chances that you overextend your resources and are ineffective on all channels. And if you don’t have the resources to adopt new channels now, don’t worry. You can practice growth marketing on existing channels too, and it’s better to have a few channels that work well for you than dozens of channels that don’t. Welton Hong is the founder of Ring Ring Marketing® and a leading expert in creating case generation from online to the phone line. He is the author of Making Your Phone Ring with InternetMarketingforFuneralHomes. Formore information, visit www.FuneralHomeProfits.com. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at ZIONSVILLE,IN— On Friday, June 24th at Flanner and Buchanan’s Zionsville, IN funeral center, they served the Jill Canady family through her daughter, Kaitlin Brockman. Kaitlin prepared her children for her mother Jill’s, aka “Grammy’s,” passing. This was evident as six-year-old (now seven) grandson, Benjamin, honored his Grammy in a way that touched everyone’s heart. While Kaitlin and her husband went in to see their mother just prior to the visitation, A Heartwarming Flanner Buchanan Story Benjamin with Grammy Benjamin, dressed in a suit, stood patiently by the door greeting every person who entered and thanked them for coming to see his Grammy. When fourth-generation Flanner Buchanan owner Bruce Buchanan came through the receiving line he said, “Hi, Benjamin Brockman, I am Bruce Buchanan.” Benjamin greeted him with a handshake and a smile as he did everyone who entered. Buchanan then said, “Benjamin do you know what we have in common? My initials are BB, and your initials are BB.” Impressed, Buchanan proceeded to name Benjamin an “Honorary Guest Relations Employee” for the day and gave him his own name tag. According to Buchanan, “I was immediately struck by how composed and mature he was for such a young boy. Benjamin’s action of greeting every visitor brought a relaxed tone to the funeral, which helped all of the family and friends relax and better share their stories. His grandmother got an incredible send-off.” Benjamin also received a certificate and a $25 Visa gift card. Kaitlin thanked them for the kindness they have shown her family during the time of her mother’s passing and Benjamin thanked them for the award and gift card. Bruce Buchanan thanks Benjamin and gives him a name tag as an Honorary Guest Relations Employee. News Funeral Home & C eme t e ry onl ine Your Rea l Source . Anywhere . Any t ime . @Nomis.Publications Like
Page A7 September 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Guidelines: At Time of Need Questions and Answers for the bereaved immediately after a loss Putting My House in Order Brief therapeutic guide on life after a loss of a loved one Life Beyond Loss Designed for mailings and celebration of life ceremonies, this booklet is perfect for the coming Fall and Winter holiday season Order now or request a free sample to prepare All Guidelines orders of 125 booklets or more have the option of free imprinting on the front cover Featured Booklet: Grief and the Holidays Guide for pre-financing, funeral planning, and personal affairs 1-800-552-1076 email@example.com Guideline Publication Best Sellers: Call, email, or visit us at guidelinepub.com for more information, or to request a free sample of any of our publications! Answers To A Child's Questions About Death The number one grief publication for children in the United States Over 15 millions booklets distributed Your Logo Here
Page A8 September 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Funeral Directors Research,Inc. AMRA INSTRUMENT, LLC 623 N. Tower (P.O. Box 359) Centralia, WA 98531 “the shorter the supply line the better off you are” WEB DIRECT GIFT & PRICING TM ® www.amrainstruments.com www.preproomdirect.com By Linda Findlay Aftercare my opinion that the second year can sometimes be worse for people. Not because there is “something” wrong with them, but because as love lives on for their lost loved one, grief continues. There is no cure for grief. There is no easy fix or medication, nor any amount of talk therapy that will take grief away. As so eloquently stated by AlanWolfelt in a piece he wrote about the Prolonged Grief Diagnosis, he stated, “Grief is love’s conjoined twin. Grief is what we feel when we are separated from the object of our love. Without love there would be no grief. And if love is not a disorder, illness, or diagnosis, then neither is grief.” You can read the full article at www.centerforloss.com/2022/04/grief-is-not-a-disorder/. I encourage you to read the entire article. Furthermore, Dr. Wolfelt has started a petition. Those who sign agree the Prolonged Grief Disorder should be removed as a diagnostic entity from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. This petition will be submitted to the American Psychiatric Association, which creates, revises, and publishes the DSM. While it may not make a difference at this point, it will make a statement! The petition can be found at https://forms.gle/nUxzbkMJdkXm5FA68 I will use myself as an example, being 33 years since the loss of my infant daughter. I just celebrated a milestone, my 60th birthday. My family gave me a surprise birthday party back home in NY. My niece and nephew joined us. It was our visit to see our NY families to meet my new grandson. You know when you are visiting in a group, sometimes several conversations are going at the same time? I happen to hear my daughter tell her cousins, my niece and nephew who are more like siblings to my daughter, that her son is their nephew. Knowing she feels that way, warms my heart. However, I can’t begin to tell you how sad it made me feel that my daughter’s only sibling, who has died, is not here to fill that role. It hit me from left field and as I write this brings tears of sadness to my eyes. These feelings of sadness have hit me many times during the years, just as intensely as they had hit when my baby died. Is there something wrong with me? Did I or do I have prolonged grief? Is this a disorder? I can honestly say, for me, my experience of grief lasted several years. Did I function? Did I get up each day and put one foot in front of the other just to get through? Yes, I did. Had I not, that would have been a completely different outcome and a different conversation! I have worked closely with so many families. At this point it is too many to begin to count. I am certain when I tell you that the description that is used to define “prolonged grief ” simply defines GRIEF. There is no timetable for any one of us. The problem I see with this diagnosis: I liken it to the five stages of grief! The stage model of grief is misused and has been overused for many years. It makes people feel like there is something wrong with them if they don’t follow the stages as they are described. I think that in and of itself the stages cause undue stress on people who are already stressed with a major loss. I believe that as the term “prolonged grief ” is put out there and more people start to hear about it, it can cause more harm than good! I ask you to consider reading Dr. Wolfelt’s statement about prolonged grief. Please consider signing the petition. Our grieving families already have enough to deal with while grieving. It does not help to “label” their grief in a way that implies that there is something wrong with them. Grief is grief! In my own words, in alignment with Dr. Wolfelt: We would not experience love without grief, nor can we experience grief without love. I wanted to weigh in on the new official Diagnostic Criteria for a Prolonged Grief Diagnosis. According to The Center for Prolonged Grief, “the most recent versions of standard official diagnostic guidelines include a diagnosis of ‘Prolonged Grief Disorder’ in DSM 5 and ICD11. This is the condition we have been calling complicated grief.” For those who have not heard about this “new” diagnosis, I wanted to share what it is and what I think about it. The Center of Prolonged Grief describes Prolonged Grief Disorder as follows: “Guidelines for this diagnosis include the occurrence of a “persistent and pervasive grief response characterized by longing for the deceased or persistent preoccupation with the deceased accompanied by intense emotional pain (e.g. sadness, guilt, anger, denial, blame), difficulty accepting the death, feeling one has lost a part of one’s self, an inability to experience positive mood, emotional numbness, difficulty in engaging with social or other activities.” It further states, “DSM V PGD requires the occurrence of a persistent and pervasive grief response characterized by persistent longing or yearning and/or preoccupation with the deceased accompanied by at least 3 of 8 additional symptoms that include disbelief, intense emotional pain, feeling of identity confusion, avoidance of reminders of the loss, feelings of numbness, intense loneliness, meaninglessness or difficulty engaging in ongoing life. For a diagnosis of prolonged grief disorder, the loss of a loved one had to have occurred at least a year ago for adults, and at least 6 months ago for children and adolescents.” Let me begin with the last sentence, “for a diagnosis of prolonged grief disorder, the loss of a loved one had to have occurred at least a year ago for adults and at least six months for children and adolescents.”The first year following the loss of a loved one is filled with many expressions and experiences of grief. All of these are described and included in this diagnosis. However, once the first anniversary of the death passes, people wake up the very next day and “nothing” has changed. As a matter of fact, many people experience grief responses well into the second year. It is Linda Findlay is the founder of Mourning Discoveries, Grief Support Services. She is a 29-year career Aftercare Coordinator, a published author, and an advocate for bereaved families. She is the founder and co-creator of The Grief Cruises and managing partner with The International Grief Institute. Linda can be reached at 315-725-6132 or Lf6643@yahoo.com. Visit www.mourningdiscoveries.com, www.thegriefcruises.com or www.internationalgriefinstitute.com. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at Prolonged Grief Opinion Scan QR for our website 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com Mortuary Coolers starting at $5,899 Mortuary Coolers TYRONE,GA— Rollings Funeral Service is proud to announce their recent addition of William G. Neal Funeral Homes, Ltd in Washington, PA. The funeral home, which has been serving its community since 1961, was formerly owned by Michael Neal. Greg Rollings, president and CEO of Rollings Funeral Service, said “The funeral home has a 61 year legacy of honesty and fairness when it comes to caring for the famRollings Funeral Service Announces Addition of Pennsylvania Funeral Home William G. Neal Funeral Homes, Ltd ilies of Washington and those are the very qualities I look for. Michael has done a fantastic job in continuing that legacy and I look forward to having him and the funeral home as part of the greater Rollings family now,” Rollings also mentioned that this marks his third location in Pennsylvania. Founded in 1961 by Neal’s father, William, Neal spent his whole life in the funeral home until he briefly stepped away at age 19. Since becoming a licensed funeral director shortly thereafter, he partnered with his father in the operation of the funeral home. When William Neal passed in 2014, Neal took on full ownership. Speaking with Neal, he mentioned that with some current health concerns, he felt it was irresponsible at this time to not have a succession plan in place for the business. After meeting with Greg Rollings and two other potential partners, Neal felt that Rollings Funeral Service fit his vision best for what he was looking for. “I liked the fact that Greg wasn’t corporate and that I had direct access to him, and I was able to resolve any issues directly with him,” Neal said. He also mentioned that he wanted to make sure that his staff and families would be well taken care of, and that Rolling Funeral Service felt like the most secure way to ensure that. With the new partnership, Neal commented that “I know the business can grow more and I’m excited to see what Rollings will be able to do and what I’ll be able to do for Rollings.” Annually, William G. Neal Funeral Homes, Ltd serves almost 400 families. With almost 90 locations, Rollings Funeral Service is one of the largest private funeral home owners in the eastern United States. With each of their firms operated on the local level, their managers work directly with Rollings Funeral Service to establish budgets, pricing, and best practices. They also pride themselves on being a great alternative to selling to a publicly traded company and they continue to search for firms that will be a great fit to their growing family of funeral homes. Michael Neal Send Us Your News! We welcome news of the industry. info@NomisPublications.com PO Box 5159, Youngstown, OH 44514 CALL 1-800-321-7479 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS
Page A9 September 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Solid select White crepe adjustable shroud interior Metallic painted finish ID: 25.6” x 78.3“ x 11.6” OD: 30.3” x 83” x 13.6” CO S T P E R U S E A S L OW A S $ 9 3 . 0 0 Delivered M I DN I G H T B L U E $665.00E A A L A B A S T E R S I LV E R CO P P E R T ON E P E A R L WH I T E A S K A BOU T OU R N EW ME TA L L I C PA I N T E D F I N I S H E S ! Pricing subject to change without notice. Temporary surcharges may apply. Copyright © 2022 Starmark Cremation Products. All rights reserved. Specific portions of Starmark Products may be covered by one or more U.S. patents. Visit starmarkcp.com/patents to learn more. I N T U I T I V E LY D E S I G N E D F O R I . D . V I EW I N G S & P R I VAT E FAM I LY MOME N T S S TA RMA R KC P . COM S C A N T O S HO P ON L I N E !
Page A10 September 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Order Direct at 1-800-782-8249 Free UPS Ground Shipping www.mccordcasketsandvaults.com A traditional funeral service is one of expression and timehonored segments. It is lovely, spiritual, and comforting to those in attendance. It ushers in the recovery sequence that all who loved and cared for the decedent must experience. I directed such a funeral recently. It was an honor to do so. Miss Rosie, the widow, loved her husband so much. Of that, there is no doubt. Their children traveled home, back to the small town where they grew into adults. They were so tender with their mother. They anticipate the adjustments she will experience as she traverses grief recovery, and they endeavor to assist her through its trials. It will be difficult for her. She is alone, and her children and grandchildren live very far away. I don’t know that she is up to extended travel. She may opt to ask them to travel to her periodically, especially on days that may be difficult; days of anniversaries and milestones. The entire family, extended family included, arrived at the church with perfect timing. They were all dressed in beautiful royal blue with complimenting boutonnieres and corsages. They were orderly and lined up according to kinship for the procession. They were cooperative and considerate. The preachers were eloquent. Their words brought comfort and solace and delivered hope for the future. The eulogist vacillated from humorous to serious tales, showing the realities of life’s highs and lows—his words causing reflections and inspiring promise. At the conclusion of the service, one by one, this voluminous family passed by their loved one’s casket for their parting farewell. Each paused as if to bid adieu silently, and as they Miss Rosie By Tracy Renee Lee Tracy Renee Lee did, each reached into his casket and patted his shoulder. Research has found that touch is vital for human beings when communicating emotions and maintaining relationships. During loss, emotions may be supercharged, thereby making comfort through touch a problematic or somewhat awkward situation to broach. As the comforter, touching is a natural tendency; however, as the comforted, touch may be very disconcerting. We might find ourselves in an uncomfortable stalemate of wanting to reach out to comfort, but not knowing what is acceptable or possibly offensive. We may not know what to say, what to do, or how to touch. A handshake might be misconstrued as a congratulatory gesture, and a hug may overstep the boundaries of familiarity. The key is to find a socially acceptable and comforting touch at such a vulnerable and hyper-emotional time. That touch might very well be patting. Touch can activate particular areas of the brain which influence thought processes, reactions, feelings, emotions, and decision-making. It can be calming and reassuring during times of distress, anxiety, and depression and can reduce feelings of loneliness and sadness. Human touch improves the outcomes for those experiencing mental health conditions. Patting is associated with a mother’s nurturing touch. It imparts the soothing comfort, love, and protection she offers her children during times of fear, growth, distress, and trial. The moment Miss Rosie dreaded was upon her. I looked her in the eyes and walked over to assist her. With my arm under hers, she rose to her feet. Weakly she took her first step and then another. She reached the casket, and I heard her soul break. I patted her hand, and then I wrapped my arm around her and patted her shoulder. I thought she would fall, but she mustered her strength and reached out to her beloved husband. She, in turn, patted him farewell as each of her family members had done before her. She tried to turn and walk away but could not. She began to sob. She reached out to him once again and patted his head, hair, cheek, mouth, heart, hands, and shoulder, and then she hesitated. Before she walked away, she repeated her gestures of comfort, love, and protection to her husband and patted him adieu. She straightened his tie, kissed his cheek, and signaled me to close the casket. She thought she could bear it, but she could not. Her knees, weak from emotional distress, failed her, and she was forced to sit down. Her children came forward and closed their dear father’s casket. It was done. They had seen him for the last time on earth. We traveled to the cemetery, and amid the East Texas heat, her husband was interred. Her sobs were those of sadness, love, commitment, and triumph. Miss Rosie loved her husband; of that, there is no doubt. I believe he will be waiting to greet her when her time comes. And, as they embrace at the mercy seat, I believe he will pat her back, touch her cheek, and welcome her home. Tracy Renee Lee is a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. She was the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. Listen to her podcast, Deadline at https://open.spotify. com/show/7MHPy4ctu9OLvdp2JzQsAA or at https://anchor. fm/tracy874. Follow her on Instagram at Deadline_TracyLee. 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Page A11 September 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A “Over the past ten years we have found C&J Financial always goes the extra mile to insure prompt filing and payment of insurance claims. You can trust they will always have your best interest on each policy they process.” Kenny Howe Holman-Howe Funeral Homes & You CJF.com | 800.785.0003 Everyday we are committed to amping up the profits and overall success of each one of our clients. While you know us for insurance assignment, we’re here to provide you with insights and programs that many of our client partners have used to help their firms reduce accounts receivables, increase cash flow andmaybe best of all, help increase their revenue per call up to 30%! Everything we do is driven by our passion to be a trusted partner to the many thriving funeral homes we serve. But don’t just take our word for it. Listen to what our partners have to say and then call or visit us online to learn more. Promises kept, revenues increased, success achieved.
Page A12 September 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A www.vischerfuneralsupplies.com Call 651-450-7727 to request a wholesale catalog, Our Extra-Large Cremains Bags (13”x 15”) are perfectly sized for the Standard Plastic Human Service Urn. or visit UrnBags.com to order some bags. Just $2.90 each*. * Bags sold in multiples of 10 Choose from Black, Blue, or Burgundy J t $3.10 each* Choose fr m Black, Blue, rgundy, Green or Gray Foltz’s family has sued Bowling Green University claiming that the school has never acknowledged fraternity hazing violations and are more interested in the income received by fraternity alumni and the fraternities. Bowling Green banned the fraternity. Hazing, defined by the Legal Dictionary is: “Hazing is a common practice in college sororities and fraternities, as well as military groups, sports teams, and gangs, which involves subjecting a potential member to a series of humiliating or abusive activities as a way to initiate him or her into the group. Hazing can be harmless, or it can have serious, long-term consequences, such as physical or psychological abuse. Hazing is typically against the law.” This practice has gone on for much of history in different setting. In 1873, a Cornell University student fell to his death. He was taken out in the wilderness at night blindfolded and told to make it home. He and the other pledges removed their blindfolds, but Mortimer Leggett thought the end of the slope was a road, it was a 37-foot cliff. Leggett was killed. In 1892, a Kenyon College student in Ohio was killed in an initiation on railroad tracks and hit by an unscheduled train. The fraternity claimed he fell asleep on the tracks, but the coroner determined he was tied to the tracks. Nolte McElroy, a student at the University of Texas at Austin died in 1928 in his initiation to Delta Kappa Epsilon. A part of the ritual was to crawl over electrically charged bed springs; the danger was McElroy’s wet pajamas. He collapsed and died a short time later. Legislation has been proposed many times over the years. It usually gets defeated or so watered down, that it is ineffective, REACH Act legislation would define hazing and require colleges to report incidents. Virginia Sens. Mark R. Warner and Tim Kaine cosponsored The Report and Educate About Campus Hazing (REACH) Act, S. 744, H.R. 2525, which is led by Minnesota’s Sen. Amy Klobuchar, Louisiana’s Sen. Bill Cassidy, and many other colleagues to address hazing on college campuses. Good intentions have been overtaken by reckless and criminal behavior by fraternities. The practice must end, legislation of all hazing should be enacted to stop the practice. Until then, more promising young lives, laying out an auspicious future, will die over a fraternity initiation. “There will be no closure for our family until hazing is permanently eradicated on college campuses.” —Shari and Cory Foltz, testifying about their son, Stone Observations “They represent all walks of life with a common bond, their children died violently during irrational rituals. They are altruistic people determined that no other parent suffer such a catastrophic loss.” —Hank Nuwer, Franklin College professor, at a retreat for parents whose children died during hazing rituals Adam Oak’s funeral at Christian Fellowship in Ashburn, Virginia was a remembrance of his kindness to others. One friend reminisced: “At my high school, there’s a girl crying, sitting on the floor in the hallway. Everyone walked by, just like nothing was going on. No one had the courage to go up to accompany her, but Adam did,” he said. “Adam sat right down next to her and cheered her up.” Adam, only 19 years old, found that some “friends” were not so kind. He was a freshman at Virginia Commonwealth University. Adam wanted to join the Delta Chi fraternity to be part of the college community and meet friends. He chose Delta Chi. He was to be assigned a big brother for an initiation party. The initiation consisted of him consuming a large bottle of whiskey. Adam, in his eagerness to be a fraternity brother, drank the whiskey. He passed out on a couch. He was found dead the following morning. The coroner ruled his death alcohol poisoning. Following services, Adam was interred at Chestnut Grove Cemetery in Herndon, Virginia. There have been 281 hazing-related deaths since 1838, according to the Daily Mail. There were three in 2021. Young people looking to be part of a culture, to fulfill a family legacy of fraternity membership or just want to have a “family” of friends die or have been permanently disabled due to the hazing of their initiation. Eight Virginia Commonwealth University students have been charged with Adam’s death. The Delta Chi fraternity was eventually expelled from the university. Danny Santulli, 19, wanted to be a part of the University of Missouri college life. He pledged for Phi Gamma Delta fraternity. The hazing required that Santulli consume large amounts of alcohol. A tube was placed in his mouth and beer flowed and then he was made to drink a bottle of vodka. They left Santulli as he was passed out. Someone walking through the room saw that he was falling off the couch with his face down. They laid him back on the couch and saw he was not reacting at all. The complaint read: “His skin was pale, and his lips were blue, yet no one called 911.” A member of the fraternity eventually realized that Santulli was in distress and drove him to MU Hospital (University of Missouri Healthcare). He was in cardiac arrest; they obtained a By Steven Palmer heartbeat. He was later released, spent months in a rehab, then his parents took him home. Danny Santulli has “massive brain damage.” He has no eyesight, cannot walk and is unable to communicate. The fraternity was closed on college grounds and 13 members were sanctioned. The family is suing those members and the fraternity. Phi Alpha Phi fraternity pledge Phat Nguyen, 21, a business student at Michigan State University attended a pledge party. Three other pledges and Nguyen were found in the basement of the frat house unconscious, wearing only their underwear, covered in vomit and urine. One of the four was bleeding from the nose and convulsing. Police were called at 2 AM. Nguyen was not breathing. His cause of death was alcohol intoxication. A police affidavit read: “At this party, the victims had alcohol poured down their throats and drank until incapacitated. Once the victims were unconscious, party attendees drew on them, slapped their hands and buttocks, and put food on the victims,” the affidavits said. “These actions led to the hospitalization of (three) ‘crossing’ members and the death of (one).” The Doan Law Firm stated this: “Phat Nguyen was pronounced dead at the scene after EMTs attempted to revive the young man. Nguyen was not breathing and was unresponsive at the time emergency medical personnel arrived at the scene. Three other young men at the fraternity house were unconscious when EMTs arrived at the location. They were taken to Sparrow Hospital in Lansing. The trio of fraternity brothers were treated and then released from the medical center.” Three students, Ethan Cao (“pledge master”), Andrew Nguyen (“pledge dad”) and fraternity president Hoang Pham are charged with hazing resulting in death and hazing resulting in physical injury. In remembering his son, Stone Foltz, his father said, “He has created a great legacy for himself, and he is truly my hero.” Bowling Green State University student and Pi Kappa Alpha pledge Stone Foltz, at his initiation, was told to drink an entire fifth of bourbon. Other pledges consumed large amounts of alcohol. The fraternity dropped Foltz off at his apartment. His roommate called 911. Foltz died three days later when his family took him off life support. The Life Connection of Ohio was contacted, and they followed what their son would do and donated his organs. His right kidney was transplanted into a teenage girl. His left kidney was given to another young girl. His liver and his lungs went to two different men. His heart was placed in a 20-year-old girl. Other tissue donated will help many others. Five fraternity members received prison sentences. Three received prison time and two received house arrest and community service. The Horrors of Hazing Steven Palmer entered funeral service in 1971. He is an honors graduate of the New England Institute of Applied Arts & Sciences. He has been licensed on both coasts, he owned theWestcott Funeral Homes of Cottonwood and Camp Verde, AZ, where he remains active in operations. Steve offers his observations on current funeral service issues. Hemay be reachedbymail at POBox 352, Cottonwood, AZ 86326, by phone at (928)634-9566, by fax at (928)634-5156, by e-mail at email@example.com throughhiswebsite at www.westcottfuneralhome.com or on Facebook. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at During the trial, prosecutors presented evidence of Hardin running an unlicensed funeral home that exemplified Hardin’s criminal enterprise. In September 2021, Hardin was in the news when the Ohio Bureau of Criminal Investigation removed two bodies from a building he was using for makeshift funeral serves at 1615 E. Livingston Ave. in Columbus. In January, more than 80 created remains were located at 825 East Buchtel Ave. in Akron at Greater Faith Missionary Baptist Church. Many of the remains have been identified and returned to family members, although some have yet to be claimed. Hardin was scheduled to be sentenced on August 26th. Man Posing as Funeral Home Director Found Guilty TOLEDO,OH— A Lucas County Common Pleas Court judge found Shawnte Hardin guilty of multiple felony charges for providing funeral services without a license. In total, Hardin was found guilty on 31 charges: one count of engaging in a pattern of corrupt activity; three counts of tampering with records; two counts of telecommunications fraud; one count of operating an unlicensed funeral home; one count of possessing criminal tools; six counts of abuse of a corpse; eight counts of representation of a funeral director while unlicensed; four counts of passing bad checks; two counts of theft; and three counts of failure to file taxes. The case was heard by a judge after the defendant waived his right to have the case heard by a jury. Hardin operated several businesses in Lucas, Cuyahoga, Summit and Franklin counties. The business names included Hussain Funeral Directors, Celebration of Life Memorial Chapels, Hardin Funeral Home, Inc., American Mortuary Services and Transportation, and Shawnte Davon Hardin Services, LLC. The original charges filed in the case accounted for crimes committed in each of the counties as part of a continuing course of criminal activity. @Nomis.Publications Like us onwww.nomispublications.com