May 2022

NEWS MAY 2022 Family Owned and Operated Since 1974 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY P O BOX 5 1 5 9 , YO U N G S T OWN, OH I O 4 4 5 1 4 1 - 8 0 0 - 3 2 1 - 7 4 7 9 WWW. NO M I SPU B L I C AT I O N S. C O M P r e v i o u s l y P u b l i s h e d a s t h e YB News • S t i l l t h e P l a c e f o r Yo u r N ew s ! Deceased beneficially returned to the earth or sea - not the sewer. Offer 4 new Sustainable Funeral® options! The Funeral Industry’s Sustainability Leader Alkaline Hydrolysis 2.0 Human & Pet Systems 720.571.9368 Scan to Watch Video Introduction Pierce Mortuary Colleges Unveils State-of-the-Art Preparation Lab at MACFS Alumni of Mid America College, Kentucky School of Mortuary Science and Indiana College of Mortuary Science were in attendance. MACFS President Mitch Mitchell cuts the ribbon on the new Preparation Room B ROA DV I EW, I L— Pierce Mortuary Colleges offer exceptional educational opportunities that meet state requirements and prepares students for a fulfilling career in the funeral profession. Pierce Colleges provide theory and practical applications for a complete and well-rounded funeral education. Mid-America College of Funeral Service (MACFS) in Jeffersonville, IN, one of three Pierce institutions, has recently brought 21st century, hands-on, practical applications to the classroom with an all-new, state-ofthe-art preparation lab room. In addition to the varied degree programs offered by Pierce Mortuary Colleges, this lab room will now offer practical and near-accurate training with advanced equipment and tools. This “learn by doing” approach is the foundation of Pierce Mortuary Colleges. All three Pierce Mortuary Colleges, Mid-America, Gupton-Jones College of Funeral Service in Decatur, GA, and the Dallas Institute of Funeral Service in Texas now have similar lab rooms. Continued on page A25 POST-CONVENTION HIGHLIGHTS Begin on Page A32 March 22 – 25 • MANDALAY BAY RESORT & CASINO • las vegas, nevada See Page A4 Return Home Makes History See Page b1 Funeral Home Gifts on American Idol! Classified Ads Shipping Directory Index of Advertisers

Page A2 MAY 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A CINCINNATI,OH— Every business has them and every business needs to understand them. All businesses have workers who fall into one of eight different categories. “I like to call these eight categories the CYA A-List,” says Poul Lemasters. According to Lemasters that breakdown includes The Lazy Ass, The Smart Ass, The Dumb Ass, The Old Ass, The Bad Ass, The Half Ass, The Kiss Ass, and The Wise Ass. Knowing what type of employees you have is essential to taking the necessary steps to protect yourself from being burnt or sued. In his new book, Cover Your A$$ – The Ultimate Guide to Safeguarding Your Business Before it Needs Saved Lemasters breaks down what each of the eight categories on the CYA A-List mean and the implications they have for your company. CYA means Cover Your Ass and in a business sense, of course, it may sound a bit brusque, obscene, or even unprofessional. In reality, CYA is essential if you want to avoid workplace problems. In his new book Lemasters gives professional and proactive advice on safeguarding your business. From reviewing processes and looking for legal gaps, to optimizing procedures, ensuring legality, and everything in between, Poul will help you identify and protect yourself from the things that could get your business’s ass kicked. Through eight in-depth chapters of CYA wisdom, readers will learn about hiring and firing, reviews and evaluations, project management, confrontation and work issues, training, policies and procedures, embracing change, and ethics. “Over my long career, I’ve learned a thing or two and I laid it all out bare in this book. This book serves as an easy to understand, actionable guide Published Monthly by: Nomis Publications, Inc. PO Box 5159, Youngstown, OH 44514 1-800-321-7479 FAX 1-800-321-9040 Subscription: United States $30.00 - Canada/Mexico $60.00 Circulation 21,000 per issue. Overseas rates available. Deadline for Press Releases: 5th of the Previous month. Advertising: Display Ad rates sent upon request. Classified and Shipping Directory rates published in each issue. All advertising must be received by the 5th of the previous month. Due to the vast amount of sources, the publisher is not responsible for the content of any news articles or advertisements. Nor is the publisher responsible for any loss of revenue by failure to insert an advertisement. The contents of any advertisement submitted for publication are only the publisher’s responsibility if the error is made by the publisher’s typesetting department, and then only to the extent of the typesetting charges. Advertisers are responsible for adhering to individual state regulations regarding advertising. The contents of any news article submitted for publication is subject to editing and is published at the sole discretion of the publisher. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any news article or advertisement. The contents of this publication may not be reproduced, in whole or part, without the exclusive consent of Nomis Publications, Inc. Editor: Margaret (Peggy) Rouzzo © 2022 by Nomis Publications, Inc. ISSN 1944-1126 Funeral Home & Cemetery News Online at Online Directories US & International Funeral Homes • Supply Companies Cemeteries • Pet Memorialization Companies Trade Associations • Plus Much More... Like @Nomis.Publications FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS 8 0 0 - 3 2 1 - 7 4 7 9 ~ w w w. No m i sPu b l i c at i o n s. c o m S E N D U S Y O U R N E W S W e w e l c o m e n e w s o f t h e i n d u s t r y Send us information on your firm today! FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Need Help Putting Your Press Release Together? Call Peggy at 800-321-7479 ext. 220 email Peggy@Nom i sPub l i cat i fax 1-800-321-9040 mail PO Box 5159, Youngstown, OH 44514 Send us any press release related to your firm which would be of interest to your fellow industry professionals. All press releases are published free of charge and at the discretion of the publisher. Be sure to include any photographs. Staff additions. . . Staff promotions. . . Anniversaries. . . Apprenticeships. . . Remodel ing. . . Moving. . . New Ideas. . . Community Service Projects. . . Graduates. . . Obituaries. . . etc. Poul Lemasters Publishes New Book: Cover Your A$$ Poul Lemasters that you can implement yourself to either start protecting your business or to find holes in your current processes that are already in place to do so,” says Lemasters. To understand your employee types Poul has created a free short “ass-essment” that will show you where you land in the CYA Alist. Visit cya-assessments to learn about the people in your company. Whether you’ve been in business 50 years or are just starting up this book has valuable lessons and insights not found anywhere else. Poul Lemasters has been helping cemeteries, crematoriums, and funeral homes make the right legal decisions for 30 years. He began his career as a funeral director and embalmer. He quickly recognized that the growing risk and liability in deathcare along with the lack of support and resources for those in this profession made for a deadly combination. So, he became a lawyer. Poul uses his multi-dimensional background as a platform to speak to businesses about the variety of ways you can CYA (Cover Your Ass…ets). Learn more at or visit Amazon to order. MEMPHIS,TN— Todd Van Beck has announced the publication of his latest book, Undertaking Mr. Lincoln: The Grand Funeral of Abraham Lincoln. “This is the story about the grand funeral of Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln’s funeral was the largest funeral ceremony ever held in the United States, and possibly the world,” says Van Beck. The book also tells the stories of the funeral directors who worked tirelessly behind the scenes to care for the remains of President Lincoln, and who were charged with the organization and detail work that was required to accomplish this extraordinary ceremonial project. The story of Lincoln’s funeral is also a story about Victorian life in America in 1865. The funeral of President Lincoln was so consequential, so massive, so inUndertaking Mr. Lincoln: The Grand Funeral of Abraham Lincoln is the latest book offering from Todd Van Beck Todd Van Beck volved that it is not an exaggeration to say that this one single funeral changed the entire funeral profession in the United States for over the next 100 years. Mr. Van Beck is a well-known funeral professional and is an author, teacher, lecturer, and practitioner on an international basis. He is associated with the John A. Gupton College in Nashville, Tennessee. Undertaking Mr. Lincoln is available on Monthly Features Classified Ads. .............................................................................................. B14 Shipping Directory..........................................................................................B9 Calendar of Events........................................................................................ B2 Association News. ......................................................................................... A28 Death Notices. ............................................................................................... A42 Educational News.......................................................................................... A24 Suppliers News................................................................................................ B1 Columns Aftercare by Linda Findlay. ..............................................................................A8 Bright Ideas for Funeral Directors by Mark Bowser...................................... A18 Embalming 101 by Wally Hooker.................................................................... A16 Facebook Made Easy by Jason Troyer PhD................................................... A10 HearseHub by Mike Jamar................................................................................ B6 Memoires des choix des Jacque by Kate Frediani-Gorman.......................... A36 Museum Corner............................................................................................... A38 Observations by Steven Palmer..................................................................... A12 Powerhouse Marketing With Welton by Welton Hong.....................................A6 Random Musings by Nancy Weil......................................................................A4 Rest In Peace Mr President by Todd Van Beck.............................................. A24 Working With Widowers by Fred Colby.......................................................... A20 NOTICE The FUNERAL HOME AND CEMETERY NEWS is now sent in two parts. Section A, which includes pages A1-A44 and Section B, which contains the Classified Advertising and consists of pages B1-B20. If you do not receive both sections please call 1-800-321-7479 or email

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Page A4 MAY 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A By Nancy Weil The people file into the service. Their faces show the sadness that is in their hearts as they come to remember and honor their loved ones. Many stop to tell me how grateful they are for this service, this opportunity to come together in grief and to recognize their loss. The service is filled with song, poems and stories. It is only when the names begin to be read that the difference between this and our other memorial services becomes apparent. Solemnly we recite: Pumpkin, Cocoa, Tinker, Peanuts and Scooter. As each person rises the tears flow. Many have come to remember multiple losses. Our pets live such short lives, but their impact upon our hearts is profound. The emotions in the room are different than at our other human-focused remembrance services. Perhaps it stems from this being an unrecognized loss. People are not given bereavement leave from work when their cat dies. There are no dinners brought over or flowers sent. For many this is a disenfranchised grief. That is why we receive such heartfelt gratitude from those who attend. We are recognizing their loss and allowing them a safe space to grieve. I encourage you to plan your own pet remembrance service this year. Having run them for so long, I can make it simple for you to plan a program. From invitation to marketing to the service itself, I have information you can use. There is one key difference when planning this service versus your usual remembrance program and that is inviting in community partners. Fill your cemetery chapel or funeral home with informational tables hosted by local pet stores, doggie daycares, groomers, pet rescues and others who work with pets. The event will become part remembrance program and part “pet fair.” So, what’s in it for you? Where is the benefit to your business to host these events? There are several reasons why it makes sense for you to extend yourself to the pet community, whether or not you have a pet cemetery or pet funeral home. • Community Outreach – Sales are based upon relationships and you can build upon your reputation as the cemetery or funeral home that cares. By hosting this event, you continue to meet people you may not otherwise get the chance to know. More importantly, they get to know a name and a face from your organization and know that you are available, if they ever need your services. • Building Awareness – You will be raising awareness of your beautiful facility. Hundreds of people may drive by your building every day, yet never stop in. By giving them a reason to come through your doors, you have the opportunity to show off your building and answer questions they may have about funerals, cremation, burial or other end-of-life decisions they may have wanted to ask, but never did. • Grief Support – If you offer other grief support programs, you can share informational pamphlets about the other programs you run. Attendees will experience the healing atmosphere that occurs, as your pet memorial service is held with the same reverence that all of your services contain. The support and healing that takes place is evident. • Build Bridges with Your Local Professional Community – Through these services you can forge a good relationship with business owners who work with animals. Ask a local florist to donate the floral arrangements for this service, especially if they can create a dog and cat out of chrysanthemums. Visit veterinarian offices and request that they allow you to put up an invitation poster in their waiting rooms. • Stay in Touch with the Families You Serve – Send invitations to the people you have already served at your cemetery or funeral home. Many of these families have had a pet and will appreciate this added grief support program. This touchpoint allows you to reconnect and continue to forge a lasting relationship. • Free Publicity – Radio, television and newspaper may all cover your event. Perhaps your local drive time radio DJ is an animal lover, like ours was, and will have you on their show. Even a short story on the local news is free publicity for your company and raises community awareness that differentiates you from your comConnecting with the Pet Community Serving as Member Resources Director at the International Order of the Golden Rule, Nancy Weil brings her years of experience working in the funeral industry to funeral directors across the globe. Her professional experience includes serving as Director of Grief Support and Community Outreach at Veterans Funeral Care in Clearwater, FL and at eleven cemeteries in Western New York. Nancy travels throughout the country offering presentations on how to reduce stress, combat compassion fatigue and offer support for those who are grieving through her company, The Laugh Academy. With certifications as a Grief Services Provider and Grief ManagementSpecialist, FuneralCelebrant, Soul InjuryAmbassador and Laughter Leader, Nancy is uniquely qualified to bring new perspectives into how to best meet the needs of the families you serve. For more information on how Nancy can help you and your company grow, visit her website: or email F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at petition. Any time you can get your name out into the community in a positive light without charge is a plus. These programs will allow you to harness the power of the press to spread the word. • Build a Database – Retain contact information from all attendees so that you can invite them to future events that you host. Over the years, our list grew to over 600 families that had come through our door for this event. That’s 600 families we met and that had met our staff and visited our facilities. Pet lovers are passionate about their fur friends – in life and in death. The industry for pet loss is growing and we must cater to this population. To not outreach to this demographic is a mistake, whether or not you can bury their pet. So, hold a memorial service and begin to build bridges to this community. Your business will benefit from it. Ready to get started? Contact me at NWeil@OGR. org for a pet remembrance service template and other details to help make your planning simpler. World’s Largest Human Body Composting Facility Makes History with First Death Tech Equity Crowdfunding Campaign Vessel with Flowers and Clothing SEATTLE,WA— Return Home, the world’s only large-scale Terramation facility, has launched the first equity crowdfunding campaign in the death-tech space and has raised over $250,000 from investors in its first weekend online. Terramation, otherwise known as natural organic reduction, utilizes a combination of sensors, software, and specially constructed vessels to gently transform human remains into fertile soil in only 60 days. The soil is given to loved ones to use as they wish. In Terramation, bodies are placed into custom-engineered vessels filled with organic materials (like straw) and inside of which air, moisture, and temperature are computer-regulated to rapidly accelerate the decomposition process. Naturally occurring microbes turn bodies into soil without chemicals or other pollutive additives. Modern burial methods pollute the earth with toxic chemicals including formaldehyde, and a single cremation emits 550 pounds of CO2 into the atmosphere while burning 30 gallons of fuel. Return Home’s natural Terramation process provides a sustainable, earth-friendly alternative that allows every person to pay the gift of life forward, ensuring our last act on this planet is to give back to it. Return Home’s $3,000,000 initial facility has already helped 40 families and is capable of Terramating 74 bodies per month. Funds raised in the Start Engine crowdfunding campaign will be used to expand operations in Washington and later into a number of states which have already legalized natural organic reduction. Funerals and related services are a $20 billion industry, and Return Home believes that 5 years from now at least 5 percent of all Americans who die will choose Terramation as their end-of-life option. Founder and CEO Micah Truman said, “We at Return Home are incredibly excited to offer the first crowdfunding investment opportunity in the death technology space. There have been only two highly polluting options - burial or cremation- for far too long. The processes we’ve invented at Return Home over the last couple of years appeal to anyone who wishes to leave an environmental legacy while giving their loved ones the gift of fertile soil to use as they see fit. It has been incredibly gratifying to offer help to families during some of the most difficult times in our lives. We can’t wait until every family in America has access to death care services that enable them to make their last act on earth one that gives back to the planet.” For more information, visit Random Musings


Page A6 MAY 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A By Welton Hong According to Marketing Insider Group, publishing blog posts on your website two to four times per week drives the most traffic and conversions. Which is simply the marketing verbiage for “more opportunities to make the sale.” The magic number, according to Marketing Insider Group, is 11 posts a month. That’s just under three a week on average. But don’t worry if you don’t have the time or budget to create that much content every week. Consistency is more important than quantity, so if you know you can only publish one post a week, concentrate on doing that every week on the same day. Maintaining a consistent publishing schedule fosters trust with your audience—making it more likely they’ll chose your firm at their time of need. On the other hand, if families can’t trust you to publish quality content consistently, how can they trust you with their final arrangements or to help them honor a loved one? One of the challenges in publishing content regularly is producing ideas for posts. If you’re stuck on what to write in your next funeral home blog post or don’t have a blog yet and aren’t sure where to start, here are seven ideas: 1. How to Write an Obituary Educational content positions you as an expert people can turn to in their time of need. It’s also the type of content people tend to share, especially when it provides actionable, easy-to-follow steps. Consider creating a blog post on how to write an obituary. Include information such as when to write one, whom to send it to, and whether there are preferred formats. 2. Tips for Giving a Eulogy Another task people stress over in an at-need situation is giving a eulogy. Provide tips to reduce the stress involved with this part of a funeral service. Eulogies and obituaries are relevant in any season and are things all families consider when making final arrangements. Creating evergreen content for your deathcare blog is important because it keeps performing for you over the years. You can even refresh it annually by updating the content, keywords, links, and any statistics you might have included. Editing older content is a terrific way to keep your blog fresh without starting anew every week. 3. A New Service or Feature in Your Business Any time you add a new initiative to your firm, highlight it in a blog post. Let’s say you started a partnership with a local crematory to offer memorial services followed by a cremation. Or you added green burials to your service line and want to let people know what those are and how they’re good for the environment. Even something like a remodel to your visitation room or the addition of a hospitality kitchen in your space can make for a good blog post—especially when you include pictures. 4. Introduce a New Staff Member Whether you’ve hired a new funeral director, brought a grief counselor on staff, or want to introduce a new customer service representative, staff writeups make great blog posts. You can even write introduction posts for existing staff to let potential clientele know more about the people behind your business. No one wants to work with a faceless entity for something as personal as final arrangements, and learning more about you and your employees can help people feel comfortable choosing your firm. 5. Create a List of Products to Consider Listicles are great for blog posts. Deathcare firms might want to create lists of products and services people can consider. Examples include: • 11 Display Urns to Honor a Loved One in Your Home • 9 Temporary Urn Choices When You Have Plans for an Ash Scattering • 7 Luxury Caskets That Honor Your Loved One • 10 Memorial Service Types You Can Have at Our Funeral Home • 12 Greenery or Floral Arrangements to Help You Offer Condolences As you can see, listicle ideas can be almost endless. You can separate your products or services into a variety of categories and make list posts for all of them over time Seven Blog Post Ideas for Deathcare Websites 6. Share a Personal Story That Might Resonate With Your Audience Again, demonstrating the humanity of the people behind your business name is important. Take time occasionally to share personal stories or information that align with your brand and may resonate with potential clientele. A post congratulating one of your staff members on a new baby, sharing your own struggle with grief, or letting your audience in on your vacation or mission trip by sharing pictures and highlights are examples of the personal items you might post, even on a company blog. Just keep the stories at a professional level. 7. Write Reviews for Materials That Might Be Helpful If you recently read a book on grief that you felt could be helpful to families, write a review for it. Let people know why you liked it, what they can expect from reading it, and who might enjoy it. You can do the same with any resource your audience might be interested in and that’s at least someone tangential to your own services. Welton Hong is the founder of Ring Ring Marketing® and a leading expert in creating case generation from online to the phone line. He is the author of Making Your Phone Ring with InternetMarketingforFuneralHomes. Formore information, visit F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at R&S MARKERS FREE Sample Upon Request CREATE CUSTOM TEMPORARY GRAVE MARKERS FOR AS LOW AS $4.95 EACH PHONE: 561 .963.4732 EMAIL: INFO@RSMARKERS.COM WWW.RSMARKERS.COM Garden of Remembrance Memorial Park Awarded Level 1 Arboretum Accreditation CLARKSBURG,MD— The Garden of Remembrance Gan Zikaron Memorial Park in Clarksburg, MD has been awarded a Level 1 Accreditation by The ArbNet Arboretum Accreditation Program and The Morton Arboretum. The Arboretum designation is in recognition of the identification and maintenance of dozens of varieties of trees and plants in the 152-acre memorial park and for achieving particular standards of professional practices deemed important for arboreta and botanic gardens. The nonprofit Garden of Remembrance recently expanded its Forest Conservation Preserve protecting thousands of trees and native species within 65 acres of protected woodlands surrounding the memorial park. It is currently the only memorial park in Maryland certified as a Hybrid Green Burial Cemetery. “Bal can visit to commune with nature in a beautiful and contemplative setting,” concludes Easton. The ArbNet Arboretum Accreditation Program is the only global initiative to officially recognize arboreta at various levels of development, capacity, and professionalism. The Garden of Remembrance is also now recognized as an accredited arboretum in the Morton Register of Arboreta, a database of the world’s arboreta and gardens dedicated to woody plants. ArbNet ( is an interactive, collaborative, international community of arboreta. ArbNet facilitates the sharing of knowledge, experience, and other resources to help arboreta meet their institutional goals and works to raise professional standards through the ArbNet Arboretum Accreditation Program. The accreditation program, sponsored and coordinated by The Morton Arboretum in Lisle, IL in cooperation with American Public Gardens Association and Botanic Gardens Conservation International, is the only global initiative to officially recognize arboreta based on a set of professional standards. The Garden of Remembrance Gan Zikaron Memorial Park ( was founded in 1999 to serve the Jewish communities of Maryland, Washington, District of Columbia, and Virginia as a nonprofit cemetery directed by a volunteer board of community leaders. Its 29 Partner Congregations represent the widest span of Jewish religious practices and is open to affiliated and unafTashchit” (protecting the environment) is a Biblical precept dating back thousands of years which we strive to follow as one of our core values,” explains Glenn Easton, executive director of the volunteerled memorial park. “We want Gan Zikaron to be more than just a cemetery but a park that our families and community filiated members of the community. It is located at 14321 Comus Road, Clarksburg, MD 20871 and can be reached at 301-428-3000 or info@ Send us your news ! ema i l info@Nomi sPubl i cat ions . com FAx 1-800-321-9040 PO Box 5159 , Youngstown, OH 44514 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Powerhouse Marketing with Welton

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Page A8 MAY 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A By Linda Findlay alone the grief that they are living with. Back to my statement that families do not know what aftercare is, so they do not know what they are not receiving. Does it matter? I think it does. Do I think that money spent is better used elsewhere? Yes, I do. Should non grief specific communications be included? Yes, if they are only one piece of the outreach. Some of the things that a funeral director tells me are part of their aftercare program cause me to have a visceral reaction – as badly as when yet another person talks about the stages of grief! But be that as it may, I guess it is better than nothing, and as I have acknowledged, families love some of these communications. Preplanning is in and of itself an essential pillar of funeral service. It is not aftercare. It offers no grief support. Is it vitally necessary to provide preplanning options? I do not know of a single funeral home who does not! There could be someone out there, but, I have not run across one. If preneed information is included in the communication that you provide to families for grief support, that is perfect! When I have provided aftercare to families, and then provide a preplanning brochure, they see that preplanning brochure as more information, they do not see it as trying to sell them anything. I can promise you that this is the truest statement I can ever make! Yes, you can provide aftercare as a way to generate preneed leads. It must be done tastefully. Providing such a valuable extension of service through aftercare, and including preneed options is perfectly okay. Aftercare can be a bridge to preneed leads. As it should be, if done right. Some of my funeral service friends do not agree with aftercare being used to generate preneed lead, sometimes, I cannot believe I say that myself, being the aftercare person. It can be a fine line and one that should be carefully reviewed and considered. Done correctly, in a timely manner, aftercare and preneed are like a peanut butter cup! The chocolate and the peanut butter go so well together. (I did steal the peanut butter cup analogy from a preplanning counselor who I knew many years ago! I am sure it would be fine to share that here.) Are there challenges and obstacles with implementing an aftercare program? Yes, there are many. I will save that subject for another article. I am confident that every single funeral home can find a solution that meets with the requirements to be considered “aftercare.” It really is not that difficult or costly! It does require some time and a bit of planning. My definition of aftercare is as follows: Aftercare services are any services or outreach efforts that provide continued grief support through a variety of grief related material, education, and opportunity to express and share grief experiences and fosters a message of hope and healing. Does what you are “doing” for aftercare fit within this definition? I was having a really enjoyable conversation with a funeral director about serving families, until the funeral director told me that preplanning is aftercare. She said that she felt that it was up to the funeral director to offer options for families. I totally agree that families should be offered options. But, when I think of options, I think of caskets and urns, calling hours and visitation, burial, or cremation et cetera…and yes, preplanning. But aftercare? I do not think the average person knows what aftercare is. Aftercare should not be offered as an option, rather it should be provided to all families. On many phone calls or visits with families I am asked about how I fit in with the funeral home and what my role is. Sometimes I say that I am an aftercare coordinator for the funeral home, but mostly, I tell families that my role is to support them during the months ahead and to provide them with the support that they may need following the loss of their loved one. I outline how I will be following up with them and how I can support them. All of this is to say, I want to share my definition of aftercare! I must start with what I think aftercare is not. In sharing what aftercare is not, I do so with profound respect for any effort to communicate with families after their loss. Not all efforts to communicate with families can be considered aftercare if they do not include support and information about grief. Whether it is a post on social media or a year of mailings to families, aftercare will include this information. Some communications are a nice gesture and families appreciate the remembrances, but they offer nothing in the line of grief support. Acknowledging an anniversary of the death or a special day is well received by families. Nobody is even mentioning their lost loved one, let Linda Findlay is the founder of Mourning Discoveries, Grief Support Services. She is a 29-year career Aftercare Coordinator, a published author, and an advocate for bereaved families. She is the founder and co-creator of The Grief Cruises and managing partner with The International Grief Institute. Linda can be reached at 315-725-6132 or Visit, or F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at Back to Basics Scan QR for our website 1-888-792-9315 • Mortuary Coolers starting at $5,899 Large variety of styles, sizes and colors Umbrellas for every budget Free Artwork & Free Proof Free Setup & Free Shipping Contact Kristie Directly (239) 471-7888 Lakewood Concert Series Music in the Chapel Returns variety of local musicians from vocal groups like The Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus to the acoustic duo Siama’s Congo Roots, along with folk, classical, and jazz artists. The Lakewood Memorial Chapel, listed on the National Register of Historic Places, was built in 1910 and designed by renowned architect Harry Wild Jones. It offers an intimate setting for up to 160 guests, along with an aweinspiring interior of more than 10 million mosaic tiles. These tiles, called tesserae, were crafted by European artisans who came to Lakewood directly from completing a project in the Vatican. “Lakewood’s Memorial Chapel is an extraordinary place to enjoy the magic of live music,” says Lakewood’s president, Chris Makowske. “Music in the Chapel concerts have been very popular. They often sold out prior to the pandemic. We’re excited to be able to bring this series back so people can experience our chapel in all its glory.” Lakewood is a serene haven in the heart of Minneapolis’s renowned Chain of Lakes—a place to come together to honor, remember and reflect. Since 1871, Lakewood’s 250 acres of urban memorial parkland have served as a community gathering place and a chronicle of our region’s traditions, cultures and people. A history keeper and a thought leader, Lakewood honors its roots as a landmark cemetery while reimaging its role in modern life, through thoughtfully designed events, experiences and spaces. Lakewood is making memorialization more relevant, accessible and inviting for new audiences and generations—with more creativity and choices. As a nonprofit organization governed by a board of trustees, Lakewood is committed to preserving and enhancing our grounds and architectural treasures, and they use proceeds generated from activities and events for that purpose. MINNEAPOLIS,MN— Lakewood Cemetery, located in Uptown Minneapolis, welcomes back its popular Music in the Chapel concert series. The series, created in 2018 but put on hold during the pandemic, was designed to showcase local musicians and shine a spotlight on Lakewood’s stunning historic chapel. The series kicked off on April 3 with returning artist David Huckfelt, of the cult-loved folk-rock band The Pines, and Annie Humphrey, an Anishinaabe singer/song writer. Concerts run monthly on Sunday afternoons from 3pm to 4pm and feature a @Nomi s .Publ i cat ions Like us on Aftercare


Page A10 MAY 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A 5 Strategies for Dealing with Negative Comments & Reviews By Jason Troyer, PhD 5. Hide the “Reviews” Section of Your Facebook Page In very rare situations, youmay have someone or a family targeting your Facebook page and leaving multiple negative reviews. Another rare situation is when an ex-employee decides to target your page with negative reviews. Unfortunately, you cannot hide or remove individual negative reviews (unless you successfully report the review for not adhering to Facebook standards). But the “nuclear option” is to simply hide all reviews from your Facebook page. This will also remove any 5-star or positive reviews, so it really should be done as a last resort. To hide the “Reviews” tab from your business Facebook page, go to “Settings” and the “Templates &Tabs” option. Simply unselect the “Reviews” option and it will no longer be visible on your Facebook page. These are several easy strategies for dealing with the occasional negative comment or review. But the most important thing I would like you to remember is that Facebook is a positive contribution to your community engagement and marketing strategy because it helps you to build relationships with local families. To work best, you must have an active Facebook page and a strategy to request positive reviews and comments. Don’t let the fear of a few negative comments or reviews cause you to miss out on all the benefits that Facebook can provide for your business. you want to have banned from your page. For example, let’s say someone continues to try to post about a “sale on Ray-bans” on your page. You can use the Content Moderation feature to block all instances of the word “Rayban,” “Rayban,” or other spellings of the words. Be sure not to block a word that might be used legitimately in a comment. 3. Respond to Negative Reviews You should respond to every negative review that is posted on your Facebook or other social media account. When you do not respond, the viewer generally takes the reviewer’s comments at face value. People understand that not everyone is going to be satisfied with every interaction with a business. So your standard response should be a genuine apology that they were not satisfied with the services they received. But you should also ask them to contact you about learning more about the situation. Take this discussion off of Facebook by asking them to call you. In very limited situations, you might use another strategy. Occasionally you may get a disgruntled employee or someone else who provides a vague negative review. You might even say, “We do not have any record of serving this family.” These situations should be used sparingly. But if that doesn’t work, we have 2 more options. 4. Block Comments and People from Your Facebook Page One of these easiest strategies is to “hide” or “delete” a comment on a post by clicking the three dots (…) next to the comment. Facebook also gives businesses the ability to block people entirely from their Facebook page. Simply note the exact spelling of the person’s Facebook name and their profile picture. Go to “Settings” and then find the “People and Other Pages” option. Change the pull-down menu from “People Who Like This Page” to “Banned People and Pages” and it will give you an option to “Ban a person.” Type or copy the person’s exact Facebook profile name in to the box and make sure the profile picture matches. More than one funeral home owner has told me that they will not use Facebook because of the fear of someone leaving a negative comment or review. I completely understand. The last thing you want is for someone to post a rant for your entire community to see. But I would strongly urge you to reconsider this stance. Using just a few simple strategies, you can minimize the impact of a negative review or comment. Here are my 5 simple strategies for dealing with negative comments and reviews. 1. Don’t Throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater The first strategy is a small shift in mindset: Facebook will provide far more benefits to your business than a few stray negative reviews or comments. Most of my clients have over 1,000 Facebook followers. I have a few customers with over 10,000 followers! Imagine having a free way to stay connected and share positive messages with that many families in your community. Every funeral home will have someone who (whether it is justified or not) is not satisfied. Occasionally those people will share a less than 5-star review or make a negative comment. But when you have an active Facebook page, these rare situations will be lost among all the positive comments and posts. For funeral homes, the benefits of Facebook far outweigh the negatives. 2. Turn on the Profanity Filter Facebook provides you with a way to block profanity and specific words. It’s called the “Profanity Filter”. It is very easy to turn on this feature. If you are an “Admin” on your funeral home’s Facebook page, simply go to your “Settings” for the business page. Under the “General” settings, you will see the “Profanity Filter” option. Simply click the “edit” button to turn the filter on. Just above the Profanity Filter option is the “Content Moderation” option. This option is useful if someone is continually spamming your page or making the same negative comment over and over using different Facebook accounts. You can simply type in words that Dr. Troyer’s free library of Facebook tutorial videos can be found at Dr. Jason Troyer is a grief expert, author, former psychology professor, and therapist. He helps funeral homes and cemeteries connect with their communities through Facebook content and grief support materials. He frequently provides community presentations, professional workshops, and trainings across the country. In addition to providing his Facebook content service and presentations, he also works at Smith Funeral & Cremation Service & Grandview Cemetery in Maryville, TN. Dr. Troyer can be reached at You can view all of his video tutorials and learn more at F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at Landau Bars, Vehicle Nameplates, Bier Pins, and more Order online and use code NOMIS10 to save 10%* *Offer expires 8/31/2022. Valid for online purchases only. Not valid on past purchases or redeemable for cash. Cannot be combined with other offers. Funeral Vehicle Accessories THOMASVILLE,GA— Funeral director, Ben Hatcher was recently honored as the MLK Jr. Walk and Festival Humanitarian of the Year. Mr. Hatcher has operated the Hatcher-Peoples Funeral Home for over 50 years serving families of Thomasville, Thomas County and the surrounding areas of South Georgia and Northern Florida. In addition to serving families in their time of need at the funeral home, Mr. Hatcher was recognized for his selfless efforts at helping area families needing aid, ranging from college tuition to feeding families. “I tried to do what I can for my community,” Hatcher was quoted as saying. “I’m just about helping and serving in the community.” Ben Hatcher of Hatcher-Peoples Funeral Home honored as Humanitarian of the Year Ben Hatcher StoneMor Inc. Reports Fourth Quarter and Full Year Financial Results B E N S A L E M , P A — StoneMor Inc. (NYSE: STON) reported operating and financial results for the fourth quarter and year ended December 31, 2021. Revenues for the fourth quarter were $79.3 million compared to $74.9 million in in the fourth quarter in the prior year. Full year revenues were $322.8 million compared to $279.5 million in the prior year period. Joe Redling, StoneMor’s President and Chief Executive Officer said, “2021 was a remarkable year for our team, as we continued to weather the impacts of COVID-19, while executing at a high-level in the continued implementation of our strategies and initiatives. We continued to grow our sales and revenues, with top-line revenue growth of 15.5% for the year ended December 31, 2021 compared to the year ended December 31, 2020 and we have driven a $30.3 million improvement in our adjusted EBITDA year-over-year.” StoneMor Inc. is an owner and operator of cemeteries and funeral homes in the United States, with 304 cemeteries and 72 funeral homes in 24 states and Puerto Rico. For full results and additional information, please visit StoneMor’s website, and the investors section, at DIGITAL DIRECTORY Available Download instantly at Save on Shipping! 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Page A12 MAY 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A background for theft in Germany. He was a skilled carpenter but never worked after the ransom money was given and was living a bountiful lifestyle. There was nearly $15,000 in hidden cash (verified ransom money) hidden in his home. Eight handwriting experts agreed that the 15 ransom notes were his writing, in a European style like his. Dr. Condon had given the physical description of “Cemetery John” which artists made composites that depict Hauptmann very closely. The wood, examined by an expert, Arthur Koehler of the Forest Service, United States Department of Agriculture, from the ladder was from a lumber yard near Hauptmann that he regularly bought from. The wood was planed with a wood plane found at Hauptmann’s home. The ladder contained wood from a board from Hauptmann’s attic floor that was missing. A phone number on a door frame in a closet at Hauptmann’s home was Dr. Condon’s. Hauptmann’s defense just declared he was innocent. His wife claimed he was home on the night of the murder. The money was given to him by a friend to hold. The jury convicted him on February 15, 1935, after 12 hours of deliberation. The appeals were filed. On October 9, 1935, New Jersey Supreme Court upheld the conviction. The U.S. Supreme Court refused to review the case. The New Jersey Governor offered life imprisonment, instead of execution, if he admitted the crime. He refused. Hearst newspapers offered $100,000 to his wife if he admitted his guilt. Hauptmann declined. He was executed April 3, 1936, by electrocution at Trenton State Prison in New Jersey. He was cremated and only his late wife Anna knew where his remains were. As with many murder cases resolved by circumstantial evidence, conspiracy theories abound. Lindbergh accidentally killed his son and covered it up. A Jewish mob murdered the child to keep the antisemitic Lindbergh from running for president. Two others helped Hauptmann and were never charged (then why did Hauptmann get all the money?). The FBI documents several cases of fraudulent theories in the investigation. The inescapable fact is the evidence against Hauptmann. Though the principals have long passed, suppositions still abound, and books are still written about the “Crime of the Century”. “Don’t wish me happiness – I don’t expect to be happy it’s gotten beyond that, somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor – I will need them all. “ —Anne Morrow Lindbergh In January 1935 more than 10,000 people surrounded the courthouse in downtown Flemington as the dramatic Lindbergh baby kidnapping trial played out within the beautiful 1828 historic building. The curious watched the comings and goings of some of the era’s most recognized celebrities including Walter Winchell, Damon Runyon, Edna Ferber and Dorothy Kilgallen. No wonder H.L. Mencken referred to the trial as “the greatest story since the Resurrection.” —East Amwell Historical Society William Allen was riding in a truck along a backwoods highway near Mount Rose, New Jersey. He asked the driver, Orville Wilson, to pull over, nature was calling. He left the truck and walked about 45 feet into the woods to relieve himself. He saw a shape on the ground and realized it was the badly decomposed body of an infant. He had just discovered the remains of Charles Augustus Lindbergh, Jr., 20-month-old son of the famous aviator. It was May 12, 1932, two months after the child was kidnapped from the family home, just several miles away. Charles Lindbergh gained international fame when he piloted the Spirit of St. Louis, a custom-built, single-engine, single seat, high wing monoplane, across the Atlantic in 1927. Lindbergh went on to marry Anne Morrow, daughter of a JP Morgan partner and former Ambassador. They had just built a home in Hopewell, New Jersey, which they called “Highfields,” where the kidnapping took place. On March 1, 1932, the baby’s nurse, Betty Gow, had rubbed medication on little Charlie’s chest, to help relieve cold symptoms, at 8 PM. Colonel Lindbergh arrived at his home at 8:25. At 10 PM, Nurse Gow entered the room and found a chill coming from an open window, which she had shut earlier. She crossed the room to shut it and turned to realize the crib was empty. She asked the Lindberghs whether they had taken the baby from the crib. They had not, and realized the baby had been abducted. The New Jersey State Police were called and Police Colonel Herbert Norman Schwartzkopf, Sr. (father of General H. Norman Schwartzkopf, Jr.) took charge of the investigation. Schwartzkopf, Sr. was a West Point graduate, fought in World War I, later became a Major General. Charles Lindbergh found a ransom note on a windowsill. A broken ladder and footprints leading into the woods were discovered. The ransom message was in a small envelope demanding $50,000 for the return of the infant, nicknamed “the Eaglet” by the press. Lindbergh became very involved in the investigation, to the irritation of the investigators. It was not long before J. Edgar Hoover of the Bureau of Investigation (later the FBI) assisted in the case. The kidnapper demanded the money in 20s-, 10s- , and 5-dollar bills. A second ransom note was received, postmarked March 4, with a larger amount of $70,000. A third note asked for a middleman to serve as the courier for negotiations and money delivery. A retired New York school teacher, Dr. John Condon, placed an ad in the Bronx Home News and offered his services in that capacity and he would contribute $1,000 for the baby’s safe return. The kidnappers accepted Dr. Condon as the conduit between themselves and the Lindberghs. $70,000 in gold cerBy Steven Palmer tificates was obtained, and the serial numbers were recorded by federal investigators. Dr. Condon placed an ad to inform the kidnappers that ransom could be delivered. The kidnappers instructed Condon to go to Woodlawn Cemetery. Lindbergh demanded that Condon go alone and get proof they had his son. A man waving a handkerchief summoned Condon. He claimed his name was John and became known as “Cemetery John”. Condon informed him he did not have the money. It would be brought when proof of the baby was given. John, who spoke with a German accent, became spooked and started to leave. Condon grabbed his arm and led him further down to a bench where they talked for almost an hour. They shook hands and went in separate directions. A package was received containing the infant’s sleeper. The instructions were to go to Bergen’s Flower Shop in the Bronx. Charles was along this time. A note at the flower shop sent them to St. Raymond Cemetery. Dr. Condon heard “Cemetery John’s” voice from hiding. Charles was waiting in the car. Condon told him he had the original figure of $50,000. The money was accepted, and a note was given for Charlie’s location. The note said he was on a 28-foot boat near Martha’s Vineyard. Lindbergh flew to the area, there was no boat, no child and the kidnappers had the ransom. When baby Charlie’s remains were found, he was face down. Animals and mother nature had their way with his little body. The tragic discovery was that he most likely died the day he was kidnapped. Dr. Charles H. Mitchell, a county physician, supervised the autopsy. His arthritis made such procedures difficult, so he enlisted the help of the county coroner, funeral director Walter Swayze of Trenton, New Jersey. The finding of the autopsy, on Swayze’s letterhead, stated decomposition was too far advanced to determine sex, left leg from knee down missing; left hand missing; right forearmmissing; and abdominal organs, except liver missing. Prominent shape of the head, teeth, and light curly hair all helped identify the remains. The attending pediatrician, Dr. Philip Van Ingen was present for the post-mortem. The cause of death was a massive skull fracture. A hole was found in the skull, but it was probably from an inspector who poked it with a stick at the scene. There was a possibility that the infant was dropped on the descent from the ladder. When the autopsy was complete, Lindbergh had Charlie cremated and scattered his remains over the Atlantic Ocean. On September 15, 1934, at a gas station in Manhattan, a man drove a dark colored Dodge sedan in and purchased 98 cents of fuel. He paid with a $10 gold certificate. Many businesses and banks were on high alert for counterfeit bills. The station manager mentioned that he didn’t see many of that size and type of bill. TIME magazine reported that the man answered, “Ah, yes, you do, I’ve got a hundred of them left at home.” He took his change and drove off. The manager wrote down the license plate number on the bill. The next day it was taken to a bank, then shortly thereafter it was discovered to be a bill from the Lindbergh ransom money. The authorities were watching the home where Bruno Richard Hauptmann lived. When he backed out in the Dodge, they stopped him and found he was carrying a $20 bill from the ransom money. The evidence was very damning. Six weeks of trial presented 40 witnesses and 300 pieces of evidence. Hauptmann had a criminal The Eaglet Steven Palmer entered funeral service in 1971. He is an honors graduate of the New England Institute of Applied Arts & Sciences. He has been licensed on both coasts, he owned theWestcott Funeral Homes of Cottonwood and Camp Verde, AZ, where he remains active in operations. Steve offers his observations on current funeral service issues. Hemay be reachedbymail at POBox 352, Cottonwood, AZ 86326, by phone at (928)634-9566, by fax at (928)634-5156, by e-mail at steve@westcottfuneralhome.comor throughhiswebsite at or on Facebook. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at Call: 661-250-1507 • Visit: Available Through Quality Suppliers Made in USA Unique items found only at xl industries Providing the Best-Designed Tools for Your Services Since 1926. Dozens of products that give you years of service and store compactly when not in use. Lightweight and easy to take to gravesides or churches. Pole Rack with Shelves extends from the floor to the ceiling Combo Expansion “B” Rack “J” Casket Floral Rack Sets down on top of casket Platform Shelf O-1 additional display surface for many XL large stands SCI contributes $500,000 to Encourage Organ, Eye and Tissue Donation with Donate Life America HOUSTON,TX— Service Corporation International (NYSE: SCI) and its brand, Dignity Memorial®, is once again partnering with Donate Life America In addition to DLA, for the past 14 years, Dignity Memorial has been a sponsor of the Donate Life Rose Parade® Float. The company has honored the lives of 61 remarkable organ and tis- (DLA). The company renewed as a Donate Life Platinum Partner with a $250,000 donation. This is the second year in a row that SCI has contributed $250,000 to DLA. Funds will be used for programs and initiatives designed to increase awareness of organ, eye and tissue donation and to improve the process of becoming a donor. Continued on page A14 sue donors through “floragraphs,” portraits made of floral and natural materials, which are placed on the Donate Life float entry produced by the OneLegacy Observations