It’s February, the month we devote one day to celebrating love! Is it the flowers, the special meals, the nights out, the chocolates, or the cards that make Valentine’s Day special? They play their part, but really are they the reason February 14th is special? No: Valentine’s Day is special because we go out of our way to show love.

  When we are small we give Valentine’s Day cards to everyone we know. Think back, remember those simple handmade colorful expressions of kindness and love you gave to your mom, dad, friends and classmates? Why did we stop doing that? When did we decide Valentine’s Day would be all about our one true valentine? My Pups never made that decision. To this day my favorite Valentine’s memories are of the cards he would give to me and every one of us grand kids. 

  Don’t get me wrong this is not a call to take romance out of Valentine’s Day. We need romance. What is romance? Is it the flowers the chocolate, the card or that special night out? Maybe, but I believe the Urban dictionary’s definition is better. It says: “True romance is doing something special or unexpected for someone you love…Romance is something simple and sweet that reminds your partner why they fell in love with you in the first place.” February 14th reminds us how important it is to show our partners how grateful we are to be a part of their worlds and how much we love them for being a part of ours.

  When we see romance the way the urban dictionary defines it and look at Valentine’s Day through my Pup’s eyes why would we want to stop at one true Valentine? I say, let Saint Valentine inspire us to do things that are special and unexpected for everyone we love. Then let our children and our childhood memories inspire us to go beyond those we love. It is time we let February 14th inspire us to give more to those we love and to be kinder to everyone in our world.

  Let’s take a cue from New Years and let February 14th inspire us to make resolutions about how we will be kinder and more loving. Sure we’ll falter and we’ll fail to keep some, but we’ll also succeed by continuing to strive to make ourselves kinder people. Let’s make February the month we promise ourselves to be kinder and more loving. Where do we start? That’s a big question. I say we start by bringing more gratitude and kindness into those moments when frustration overwhelms us.

  When we feel the need to blow up at someone lets resolve to take a breath and remember what Thumper’s mom in the movie Bambi taught Thumper, “If you do not have something nice to say don’t say anything at all.” This does not mean stop giving criticism. It means if we cannot use kind words that we are not ready to speak. We need to realize that we cannot help people correct mistakes or do something better if they feel they need to defend themselves from a verbal attack.

  We tell our children to “use their words” because we know words resolve conflict better than fists. As adults we must realize that kind words work better than angry words. You might think how can I drive the point home with kindness? I hear you. It can take longer to be kind than it does to just blurt out your point. I also see how it can take more time for your point to sink in because the person might only hear your kindness and miss how important your point is. I say make kindness the point. 

  Angry words may get the job done faster, but they do not inspire people to be helpful or kind. Kindness grows and strengthens relationships. When we replace frustration with kindness our message is clear, we care about the people we speak with. I look forward to hearing how you let my Pups and Valentine’s Day inspire you to be more kind. Please give me a ring at 617-980-1728, email me at Kristan@mooneytunco.com, or even better join the conversation on the Let’s Chat blog at www.nomispublications.com/blog.aspx.