Page A20 september 2023 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Section A www.vischerfuneralsupplies.com add new friends to your group. You might be pleasantly surprised (as I was during my first year) and find that you eventually create a whole new circle of friends on top of your existing ones. Don’t be discouraged if you lose some old friends and family along the way, that is perfectly normal as you build a new life. I know it takes courage to put yourself out there, but I can assure you that it is worth it if you are able to stick with it through the rough part of developing your new communication skills. Hang in there and keep at it. Good luck! Widowers – Are You Talking to Others? After the loss of our wives, many of us find ourselves unable to communicate effectively with others. Even those of us who come from careers in communication may find ourselves suddenly at a loss for words. Numbness, physical and mental pain, a sense of surrealness, and disrupted attention spans interfere with our ability to comprehend, organize thoughts, and put our feelings and thoughts into words. Our friends, family, and neighbors are often unsure about how to speak with us, and afraid they will say the wrong thing. They may believe that we would prefer to be left alone (and some of us would). We in turn often blame them for abandoning us, only compounding the problem. Many of us may have left much of our communication to our wives who regularly spoke to neighbors, friends, and family members while we joined in sporadically. As a result, our communication skills may have deteriorated to the point that we are no longer comfortable being the lead anymore. Others may interpret our clumsiness, unwillingness to speak, or our inability to string together a complete sentence as an unwillingness to talk with them, or even as evidence of our desire to be alone. This can lead to avoiding others and missing an opportunity to build the bridges needed to heal. Between Emails, Facebook, Messenger, Instagram, TikTok, and other vehicles many of us have forgotten how to communicate in person. When we do try to physically talk to someone, we may feel inadequate for the task. As a result, our own cues and our ability to read the cues of others can be out of whack. This can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and lost opportunities. Breaking out of this self-perpetuating cycle can seem impossible, and lead to further isolating ourselves from friends and family. To heal, we need human contact, By Fred Colby Share This With Widowers Fred Colby has served as a director, board member and consultant for nonprofit organizations in California and Colorado. After his wife, Theresa, died in 2015 Fred shifted his focus to writing and leadership roles to help his fellow widowers heal and re-engage with life. He co-founded the Pathways Hospice Men’s Grief Group and an online grief group. He resides in Ft. Collins, Colorado. For more information go to: www.fredcolby.com. Fred Colby’s new 2nd edition blends his own story with research, observations, and experiences during the first year of grieving the loss of his wife, plus what he learned after his first edition was printed. The book is in part a result of his frustration with the lack of other in-depth or quality materials available to help fellow widowers. His search for anWidower to Widower Surviving the End of Your Most Important Relationship New Second Edition To see what others are saying about Widower to Widower go to https://www.fredcolby.com/media Special Offer — 5 Books for $59.99 https://www.fredcolby.com/buy-books/order-5-pack-for-groups www. Fr e dCo l by . com swers took him to group meetings, individual counseling sessions, writings by fellow widowers, and discussions resulting from happenstance meetings with fellow travelers on the grief journey. support, encouragement, and love. You cannot get that while alone in your house wallowing in your grief and pain. Learning to communicate with others again is not only vital for us to heal but also critical if we want to re-engage with life again in any meaningful way. It starts with YOU, and no one else. YOU have to make a commitment to reaching out to others, to talking to others, to inviting others into your life. If you wait for them to initiate contact, you may well be disappointed. Think back to when a close friend or relative lost someone close to them. How often did you reach out to them to see how they were doing? I know that I was not particularly stellar in that area. How about you? Why then would you expect others to get it, and reach out to you first? One Note Here: There are likely to be some topics that you just are not comfortable discussing with friends and family (e.g. desire for new relationships, anger, selfdoubts). This is perfectly normal, and this is where it makes sense to also speak with a Grief Therapist who can help guide you through these challenging topics. If you want to heal, if you want to reengage with life again… then it is up to you to take that first step of reaching out and speaking with others. In his book How to Be Your Own Therapist Author Owen Kane suggests that your first step is to “Talk to yourself in a positive tone.” If you are down on yourself and constantly in a negative place it will be hard to engage in productive conversations with others. So, start with yourself and then build on that by reaching out to one person at a time until you have built a small circle of people whom you feel safe with. Let them know that you want them in your life and need their support right now. As you become more confident you can begin to reach outside of your normal circle and Carriage Services Announces Election of Julie Sanders to Board of Directors Continued from Front Page chapel, a casket selection room, reception area and garage. The building that became Ellsworth Funeral Home was built in 1906, with Andrew and Myrta Hallenbeck moving their own funeral home there in 1927. The Hallenbeck family continued to own the building until its sale to the Ellsworths in 1979. As for Howard, the history is a bit more complicated. In 1928, F.W. Tuttle opened a funeral home in the town, with a young H.A. Willoughby working under him. Eleven years later, Tuttle and his wife Mary opened a more modern version, though Tuttle died shortly afterward. Mary ran the business until 1947 before selling it to Willoughby, who changed the name to reflect his ownership. The next year, Willoughby purchased Howard’s other funeral home, Thompson Funeral, from Oscar Thompson. Willoughby then moved his business to the newly acquired location, remodeling and utilizing the space until a new home was built in 1966. This was the birth of Willoughby Funeral Home’s current building. In 1977, the home transferred ownership to Dean and Joanne (Willoughby) Sherman, who had worked there for more than 20 years. Terry and Anne (Sherman) Lee then assumed ownership during the 1990s before selling it to the Ellsworths. Anyone seeking more information or inquiries of service can do so at 605-256-2221 in Madison and 605-7724681 in Howard, or on their websites, www.ellsworthfh. com and www.willoughbyfh.com. Article reprinted with permission, Madison Daily Leader. Ellsworths Resume Operations HOUSTON,TX— Carriage Services, Inc. (NYSE: CSV) announced that its Board of Directors has elected Julie Sanders as an independent member of the Board, effective immediately. Ms. Sanders, 55, will serve as a member of the Corporate Governance, Audit and Compensation Committees. She currently serves as Senior Vice President and Chief Audit Executive at Dell Technologies. “We are excited to welcome Julie to the Carriage Board,” said Carriage’s Executive Chairman, Mel Payne. “Julie’s more than twenty years with Dell, where she has held a variety of leadership roles, will provide us with great insight and expertise as we continue to identify opportunities for growth and execute on our Ten-Year Vision, which we discussed in this year’s shareholder letter.” Second Quarter 2023 Results Announced Carriage Services, Inc. announced its financial results for the second quarter ended June 30, 2023. Carlos Quezada, Vice Chairman and CEO, stated, “We are excited to announce our robust second quarter results, which reflect the successful implementation of our strategic plan.” Quarterly Dividend Declared Carriage Services also announced that its Board of Directors on July 19, 2023 declared a quarterly dividend of 11.25¢ per share payable on September 1, 2023 to common share record holders as of August 7, 2023. Carriage Services is a leading provider of funeral and cemetery services and merchandise in the United States. Carriage operates 171 funeral homes in 26 states and 32 cemeteries in 11 states. For more information and full results, visit www.carriageservices.com. Together, the Ellsworths have decades of experience in the funeral industry, and their newest partners are equally seasoned. Joining the Ellsworths are Terry Lee, Kim Klinkhammer and Mark Kahler. Kahler is the former owner of the Kahler Funeral Home in Dell Rapids, where Ellsworth did his internship before moving to Madison. This group represents more than 125 years of collective funeral experience, with each member looking forward to continuing the legacies of the two homes. On top of this, Madison native Nate Hofman will join the team through an apprenticeship, splitting his time between Madison and Howard. Ellsworth added that all prearrangements will continue to be honored and that several building improvements are planned. Throughout their ownership, the Ellsworths engaged in several improvement projects, including the addition of a 150-seat
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