Page A8 MAY 2023 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Section A By Linda Findlay Aftercare possible. I call that living life, after life. It is very hard for people to imagine a happy life after a loss. Once they realize that joy and grief can co-exist, something shifts. A bereaved mother was not so lucky. She shared the story of how she was scammed by a woman who claimed to also be a bereaved mom. As you would guess, she met this woman in an online support group for bereaved mothers. This person befriended her. They met regularly. She claims she did not see any red flags…until she did. Suddenly, the woman needed a place to stay. Things went downhill from there. The woman moved in and stole various items out of the home, including money! During this time, she had provided a reference for this woman to live in the same apartment complex. As the saga continued, the scammer ended up moving into another apartment nearby, but the apartment management company would not do anything about it! Can you imagine having your scammer as your neighbor? She eventually learned a lot of information about this woman from her daughter. She was not even a bereaved mother! This entire situation was so unbearable that she and her husband moved clear across the country to get away from her. The scammer got away with everything she did! Another widow talked to me about making a trip to Africa to meet her new love interest – a man who was perfect for her. I asked her if she was going on a group tour, with a tour guide, or something like that. She simply said no. She told me that she was going to land, have a place to stay and go from there. Hmm… Because I don’t step too far outside my boundaries, I gently asked her to share the plans she was making with her family or a close friend. She said the people closest to her would never understand. I told her that she needed to be smart and safe. Luckily, she discovered it was a scam. The conversations that followed included her remorse for being so vulnerable. She had many regrets. This situation added difficulty to her grief journey! On the upside, she did not lose anything, including her own life. Most people who discover the scam feel ashamed and embarrassed that they were taken for a ride. Already vulnerable and grieving, they just don’t have the bandwidth to make the best decisions for themselves. Even though being scammed can make one feel “stupid,” it is understandable how it can happen to someone who is grieving. We have all heard about scams. Even the smartest and sharpest among us can fall victim to a scam. I have personally known several close friends who you would think knew better but ended up in a scam situation. I honestly saw red flags when they shared information about their “new love interest.” It all sounded a bit off to me. Ended up both situations were exactly that, a scam! The bereaved are especially vulnerable to scams. There are people out there who know exactly how to speak to a grieving person and can manipulate them with the goal of getting money out of them. I wanted to write about bereavement scams because I regularly have conversations with family who tell me about a scam that they had discovered. It is sad to say, I have heard about more scams in the last three years than any other time during my 32+ years working with grieving families. It seems that most times it is a widow or bereaved parent who shares with me that they have been scammed. Recently, I talked to a woman who lost her husband. She joined a Facebook group for the loss of a spouse. Not long after she joined the group, a certain male member started to privately message her. She said that he said “all the right things” that made her feel better about herself and her grief. He spoke a language that she connected to and that was familiar to her because of her experience with grief. She told me how she talked to her son and showed him her text messages. It did not take her son long to literally google, “scamming dialog” and find the exact same messages as samples. She could not believe that she had been scammed. Luckily for her, she was brave enough to tell her son, who she trusted. In addition, she did not get to the point of giving any money to the scammer! The one thing that she said to me, that was different than some other conversations that I have had, was that having the conversations with this person made her feel better about herself and her grief for the first time since her loss. She could not explain it any better. I offered this thought: maybe this experience helped her to know that it is possible for her to “feel better.” Maybe she heard what she needed to hear for a bigger reason. She gave it some thought and agreed. It was what needed to happen to her so she could reinvest in life and pursue happiness. She said that it did make her feel it is completely Linda Findlay is the founder of Mourning Discoveries, Grief Support Services. She is a 29-year career Aftercare Coordinator, a published author, and an advocate for bereaved families. She is the founder and co-creator of The Grief Cruises and managing partner with The International Grief Institute. Linda can be reached at 315-725-6132 or Lf6643@yahoo.com. Visit www.mourningdiscoveries.com, www.thegriefcruises.com or www.internationalgriefinstitute.com. FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS www.NomisPublications.com Monthly Columnsonline at Bereavement Scams One dear friend, who is a widow, carried on a long-distance relationship with a man via facetime. She insisted he was legitimate. She felt that she was in love. This went on for two years. My friend is a retired executive and small business owner who is well respected in both her personal and professional life. She has a great family and is probably one of the smartest, kindest people I know. She was so shocked at falling for a scammer. In her own words, she said, “I couldn’t believe I’d allowed a romance scam to happen to me! I had to grieve the loss of the money and the loss of the romance I thought was my future. I also needed to forgive myself for allowing it to happen and for not listening to my son, who tried to warn me. I am a retired IBM executive, well-traveled and founder of two nonprofits for resilience after loss (in memory of the three children and husband I’ve lost). I am neither stupid nor naïve. But I was targeted as a recent widow, and I was lonelier and more vulnerable than I realized at the time. I have forgiven myself. We are victims…we just fell in love.” According to the Grief Recovery Institute, there are 43 kinds of loss; death is only one of them. My friend has an advanced certification in their methodology, Grief Recovery Method, which is the only evidence-based method. She used it to help successfully grieve this and other losses. As caregivers for the bereaved, we should be aware of bereavement scams. It can happen to any family, in any city across the country, at any time. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau provides consumer education, data and research and an option to submit a complaint at www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/fraud/ TAMPA BAY,FL— Pinnacle Funeral Service is pleased to announce the recent appointment of Tony Kumming as president. With over 15 years of experience in the deathcare industry, Tony brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to the Pinnacle Funeral Service team. Before joining Pinnacle, Tony held leadership positions at several other funeral service companies where he played a crucial role in expanding and growing the business. Most recently, Tony was president of NewBridge Group, one of the nation’s leading funeral home succession planners. In his new role, Tony will be responsible for leading the strategic direction of Pinnacle Funeral Service, which includes acquiring family-owned funeral homes and providing operational support to ensure each location maintains the highest level of service and care. “I am thrilled to have joined the Pinnacle Funeral Service team,” Tony stated. “I have a deep passion for the funeral industry and look forward to working with the talented and professional teams at Pinnacle to continue to provide the highest level of service to families during their time of need.” Since taking the role of president, Kumming has met with leadership teams of Pinnacle’s funeral homes to pledge the company’s continued support for the businesses. Many of his location visits were viewed as a homecoming, as he had led Pinnacle’s acquisition of most of the locations over the past several years. Pinnacle has also already completed an acquisition during Tony’s first few months in his new role. “Serving families is and will always be Pinnacle’s top priority, and our role as a corporate team is to provide every level of support possible so our location teams can continue to provide the best service available in each of their markets,” Kumming said. He added that the firm is privately owned and intends to remain that way. Pinnacle is well-funded and has a strong record of acquiring and supporting family-owned funeral homes. With Tony at the helm, the company plans to increase its pace of acquisitions to grow and expand throughout the United States. “We are excited to have Tony on board as our new President,” said John Klein, who has been Pinnacle’s regional director of operations for the past eight years. “His leadership and industry experience will be invaluable as we continue to acquire and grow throughout the region.” Pinnacle Funeral Service is a funeral home acquisition and management firm that currently owns more than 25 funeral homes within the midwestern and southeast United States. The Pinnacle corporate team provides back-office accounting, recruiting, human resources, legal, and digital marketing support for its owned locations. The company is actively expanding through acquisitions. Funeral home owners interested in learning more about selling their business, contact Tony at Tony@pinnaclefunerals.com or visit www.pinnaclefunerals.com. Pinnacle Funeral Service Appoints Tony Kumming as President Tony Kumming SEND US YOUR NEWS! PO Box 5159, Youngstown, OH 44514 1-800-321-7479 info@nomispublications.com 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com Scan QR for our website Cots not included MODEL # TR3 Triple Cot Roll-In Mortuary Cooler AMC N W FAST SHIPPING AVAILABLE ON SELECT PRODUCTS Be sure to visit! Booth 611
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy Nzg4MQ==