May 2021

Page A8 MAY 2021 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Known for quality materials and craftsmanship, Madelyn Co. Keepsake Pendants are hand-made using jewelry-grade metals. The opportunity to choose a Keepsake Pendant presents itself only once. The comfort a Keepsake Pendant offers, lasts a lifetime. www.madelynpedants.com e-mail orders@madelynco.com 800-788-0807 Fax 608-752-3683 call about monthly specials or visit ourwebsite TM K e e p s a k e P e n d a n t s February '21 FHC:Layout 1 12/24/20 5:12 PM Pag e 1 By Linda Findlay Aftercare Create Any craft activity can give a child or teen something to ac- tually do. It helps to pass some time doing something cre- ative and fun. Ask the children what they would like to create and make it happen. Creating mementos for their lost loved one can be a special time together. Journaling Encourage children or teens to write in a journal. Going to the store and picking out a “special” notebook or binder and some colored pens or pencils can be a good start. Assure the child that whatever they write is for their eyes only. They will never be expected to share their writing unless they choose to do so. Suggesting that they write a letter to their loved one is a good way to get them started. Allow children to make decisions Allowing children to make decisions, when appropriate, can help them to feel like they have more control of their world. Making decisions as simple as what to have for din- ner or where to go for a day trip, helps them to feel that their opinion matters. Stay close to children A child’s family is the center of their world. Children need routine and stability. If you can’t provide this for the children, please give careful consideration to who can with you always being close by so your children do not feel abandoned. Grief Support Groups Grief support groups for children are a helpful way to bring children together who share a common bond. Their losses can be shared with their peers in a safe place with the guid- ance and help of trained professionals. Reach out to a local hospice, faith-based organization or the child’s school coun- selor for additional local resources. Share your Grief It is more okay to let a child see your tears than to give them the false image that you are not grieving. It is okay to simply tell children that you are sad because your loved one died. Their experience with not only their grief but by sharing your grief with them will very likely mold their overall belief about loss and grief that will stay with them long into their future. Ask your child for a hug or to sit with you. Stay close Keep them close while doing ordinary things. Have a snack or watch tv together. Take a walk, ride bikes, swing on a swing. Turn off the electronics and spend time together! Cook or bake together. Preparing a special meal that your loved one liked is a special way to honor your loved one together. Bak- ing their favorite cake on their birthday is always special. Find ways to stay connected – together Finding ways to feel connected to your loved one is ulti- mately what we all need to do. Find ways to connect that are Linda Findlay is the founder of Mourning Discoveries, Grief Support Services. She is a 29-year career Aftercare Coordinator, a published author, and an advocate for bereaved families. She is the founder and co-creator of The Grief Cruises and managing partner with The International Grief Institute. Linda can be reached at 315-725-6132 or Lf6643@yahoo.com. Visit www.mourningdiscoveries.com , www.thegriefcruises.com or www.internationalgriefinstitute.com. FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS www.nomispublications.com Monthly Columns online at meaningful and that honor your loved one or reflects on who they were and what they meant to you. Wear their favorite color. Watch their favorite movie. Enjoy their favorite foods. Go to their favorite place. These things may be difficult at first but in time, they will provide comfort. Create New Memories and Traditions For holidays and special days, do something different and out of the ordinary for your family. New adventures, activi- ties and memories can become a treasure that can be added to past treasures-all a part of the fabric of your life of which your loved one continues to be very much a part of! Volunteer together He who helps others, helps himself! Giving of your time and attention to helping those less fortunate is a gift to both the giver and the receiver. Give gifts to children in need, not only at the holiday time, but any time of the year. Seek out opportunities with local charities or places of worship. Seek Comfort Seek comfort in a higher power, in whatever ways that may mean to you. If you pray, pray with your children. Share your faith and your belief. What is normal? Children and teens need to learn about what is “normal” while grieving. Simply letting them know that crying, feel- ing mad, lonely, scared, uncertain, guilty, tired, or sometimes relieved, is all “normal”. Encourage them to share, with you, what they are feeling and to write their thoughts in their spe- cial notebook. Most importantly, recognize that there is never really “clo- sure” for anyone who loses a loved one to death. For the rest of the children’s lives, their loved one will be remembered. With the help and guidance from an adult, children do process grief and they do learn to cope. They are able to move on with their lives. What is important is that they learn healthy coping skills. Keeping their feelings inside can set them up for many unfavorable trajectories in their lives that may not produce a favorable outcome. Children do not just adjust and carry on with their lives as though everything is the same! Children need to walk through their journey of grief. There is no go- ing around grief. It must be experiences and dealt with. They too must learn all they can about what they are experiencing mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually so they are equipped to later walk with others who experience loss! For more information about Children and Grief please vis- it: https://childrengrieve.org/ Children and Grief This month I wanted to share a piece that I wrote that speaks to the subject of Children and Grief. You are welcome to use the information however you choose. Parents, teachers, family members and adults in gen- eral all play a role in helping children grieve. Some- times it is difficult for parents to be the main support for grieving children. In an effort to protect their par- ents, they might not talk about their feelings. Other family members or friends can step in and assist the parent in helping the children grieve – always with the parent’s approval. Some helpful tips for supporting children and teens include: Create the opportunity and time to talk about their loved one. Sharing memories is a good way to start a conversa- tion. Letting children share their stories and their feel- ings is helpful and lends the child or teen to be more comfortable in doing so. Spend one on one time with the child or teen. Talking about anything and everything is better than talking about nothing. Encourage the child or teen to come to you anytime, for any reason! Schedule dates and times to visit or talk on the phone. This will help with “waiting” for the child or teen to come to you! Open communication. When discussing the death, explain to the children in simple terms that the person has died. Don’t be afraid to or avoid using the words “death” and “died” with children. We don’t want to tell children that their loved one has fallen asleep. This can cause undue stress and anxiety over thought processes that go to “will I, or my other parent or loved one, die while they are sleeping?” Being honest with children that matches up with their ability to understand is very important. Take time to be “normal.” Children need to take breaks from grieving. Children cannot grieve all day, every day. Nobody would survive that. Let them laugh and be kids. Laughter and having fun releases feel good endorphins in the brain. Taking a Friday night to just be a “regular” family is good for children and teens. Taking that time to focus on them and creating an opportunity that makes them the cen- ter of attention is really important. Scan QR for our website 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com Mortuary Coolers starting at $4,2999 Beat the price increase increase coming March 2021 Beat the price increase coming June 2021 a military loved one,” stated Bonnie Carroll, TAPS president and founder. TAPS chairman of the board, and CEO of Telos Cor- poration, John Wood, stated, “I continue to be in awe of the resilience of the military survivors who TAPS serves…If you have not yet been able to learn more about the life-saving resources of TAPS, I personally extend the invitation to you.” Throughout 2020, TAPS received top ratings among charity watch groups and remains committed to fiscal integrity. In 2020, 0.88 cents of every dollar provid- ed direct and immediate support to military survivors. TAPS has provided free programs and services for over 100,000 surviving loved ones of America’s fallen he- roes. The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national organization providing compassionate care for the families of America’s fallen military heroes and has offered support to more than 100,000 surviving family members of our fallen military and their care- givers since 1994. TAPS provides peer-based emotion- al support, grief and trauma resources, grief seminars and retreats for adults, Good Grief Camps for children, case work assistance, connections to community-based care, online and in-person support groups and a 24/7 resource and information helpline for all who have been affected by a death in the Armed Forces. For more information, visit TAPS.org. To request an interview with a member of their board of directors, military survivors, grief experts, or TAPS represen- tatives, email alex.meyers@taps.org or call 202-588- TAPS (8277). Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) releases 2020 Impact Report ARLINGTON,VA— The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) has announced the release of the 2020 Impact Report. For nearly three decades, TAPS has provided hope, healing, and resources to all those griev- ing the death of a military loved one. TAPS has respond- ed and adapted throughout 2020 to continue providing essential grief services to military loss survivors. In 2020, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survi- vors, welcomed an average of 21 new military survi- vors each day. This report highlights the impact TAPS has had on more than 100,000 military loss survivors across gen- erations and through var- ious programs and servic- es. TAPS also launched a new initiative by shar- ing a variety of mean- ingful and hand-selected resources with the Ameri- can public to support all living with fear, grief, de- pression, and isolation in the wake of COVID-19. “Our TAPS 2020 Im- pact Report shares our mission, and reflects the continued and grow- ing need to provide care and resources to all those grieving the death of