February 2021

Page A8 FEBRUARY 2021 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Call 651-450-7727 to request a wholesale catalog, Our Extra-Large Cremains Bags (13”x 15”) are perfectly sized for the Standard Plastic Human Service Urn. or visit UrnBags.com to order some bags. Just $2.90 each*. * Bags sold in multiples of 10 Choose from Black, Blue, or Burgundy J t $3. 0 each* By Linda Findlay Aftercare me to question if that was the same day that my Mom died. I proceeded to try to figure out if I had her obit- uary somewhere. I couldn’t think of where that might be all these years later. I checked online to see if I can somehow find a copy of her death certificate. I got no- where in my search. Then I realized, wait, my Husband has an Ancestry account. He was out of town picking up his mom to bring her here to spend Christmas with us. So, I took It upon myself to see if I can look it up on Ancestry. Navigating his PC, in comparison to Mac was a challenge. But I did manage to keep hitting the back key until I got to the home page of Ancestry. I put in the information. I found it. Yes, my mother died on the same day as the Pan Am crash, December 20, 1988. I don’t remember knowing that was what was going on in the world in the midst of the sudden and unexpected death of my mother. I think I can safely say that I was in shock. It made me think about all of the people who have lost a loved one during the Covid pandemic. How much of what is going on in our world is really being absorbed while they are grieving the loss of their loved ones? That thought makes me feel like we have a huge task at hand! As much as it is a huge task, this can be a huge opportunity for us to create opportunities for our families, AND our community to receive the support that they need, not just today, but long into the future. I think I can say with some sort of certainty that many people may find themselves thinking the same thoughts as I about not really absorbing what is going on in the world. What can we do? I have many funeral homes who have moved all of their support groups and community outreach “events” online. If you are not doing this, I would encourage you to look into it. It would not take much to plan an event that can bring your families and your community to- gether to receive the support that they need. Remem- bering that what is going on in the world may not be first and foremost on their minds, but it may very well be a big part of what they will come to realize as the shock of their loss fades into a realization that, not only At the time that I am writing this article, we have just ushered out 2020. 2020 could not be over quick enough. But, as grief does not end the day after the first anniversary of the death, nor will our experience with 2020 be over on January 1, 2021. Unfortunately, the pandemic has remained as have all of the conse- quences that the pandemic has pushed on all of us. As usual, I can relate this to the grief experience. Do you feel more familiar with life during the Co- vid pandemic? Have you adjusted to a new way of do- ing business or living your life on a day-to-day basis? Are things a little less uncertain? Can you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Does this sound familiar in relation to the grief journey? For our families who are grieving, let’s remember that some of what each of us have felt about our lives during Covid can be de- scribed as grief. Losing a loved one, we know causes grief. Losing our freedoms that are familiar and rou- tine, have been changed, altered and sometimes omit- ted entirely, can be cause for all of us to grieve! So, yes, my friends in funeral service, I think we all have much to grieve for because of Covid. So, how do we support our families who are grieving the loss of their loved ones and at the same time, support them and our fel- low funeral service professionals through all the loss that is being experienced due to Covid? I can’t help but to think that there may be many families who have not fully realized the impact of Covid because of their grief due to the loss of their loved ones! Are their feelings felt separately for each? Let me share my experience when I lost my mother during a time when a tragic event occurred. On December 20th, I was half listening to tv when the subject of the Pan Am flight, that went down over Lockerby Scotland in 1988, was being talked about. I was stopped in my tracks. Was that the same day that my Mother died? I know it has been 32 years, but, each year I could not remember if my mother died on December 20 or 21st. I have always remem- bered that we did bury her on Christmas Eve day that year. So, why did the question strike me this year? I have no idea why hearing about the Pan Am flight led Linda Findlay is the founder of Mourning Discoveries, Grief Support Services. She is a 29-year career Aftercare Coordinator, a published author, and an advocate for bereaved families. She is the founder and co-creator of The Grief Cruises and managing partner with The International Grief Institute. Linda can be reached at 315-725-6132 or Lf6643@yahoo.com. Visit www.mourningdiscoveries.com, www.thegriefcruises.com or www.internationalgriefinstitute.com. FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS www.nomispublications.com Monthly Columns online at have they lost their loved one, they have lost a famil- iar way of life directly related to Covid! We can sup- port families through this. We can support our fellow funeral service professionals through this. We need to address the grief that has been caused by Covid for all of us. What a great opportunity for us to reach out into our communities and support families specifically addressing all of the loss that has been brought about because of Covid, not just the loss of a loved one who died. It begins with creating an outreach event and starting a conversation. Creating an opportunity to bring people together to talk about their own personal experience with Covid can be a welcome opportunity being provided by the most trusted advisor in a com- munity when it comes to matters of grief. Our local Funeral Home Director. In conclusion, when I told my husband that I searched for my mother’s death certificate on his An- cestry account, he said I only had to look at the family tree to see that he had already had a copy of her death certificate saved! Probably a phone call to ask would have saved me a bit of time! Is it over yet? New Book by Dr. Alan Wolfelt offers Healing for Grief after Homicide FORT COLLINS, CO— Companion Press announces the publications of Grief after Homicide: Surviving, Mourning, Rec- onciling by renowned grief educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt. Homicide creates a grief like no other. If someone you love died by homicide, their grief is naturally traumatic and compli- cated. Not only might their grief journey be intertwined with painful criminal justice proceedings, they may also struggle with understandably intense rage, regret, and despair. It’s natural for homicide survivors to focus on the particular circumstances of the death as well. Whether the reader’s loved one’s death was caused by murder or manslaughter, this compassion- ate guide will help them to under- stand and cope with difficult grief. It offers suggestions for reconcil- ing oneself to the death and find- ing healing ways to mourn. After a homicide death, there is help for those left behind, and there is hope. This book will help see readers through. Grief after Homicide: Surviv- ing, Mourning, Reconciling is part of Companion Press’s Words of Hope and Healing series—em- pathetic books on grief and oth- er loss-related topics, with just the right amount of education and support. Author, educator, and grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt serves as director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition in Fort Col- lins, CO. The author of Grief One Day at a Time, First Aid for Broken Hearts, Understanding Your Grief, and many other books for grief caregivers and mourners. Grief after Homicide: Surviving, Mourning, Reconciling is available in softcover and ebook formats. To order and to learn more about Dr. Wolfelt’s books on grief and loss, visit www.cen- terforloss.com or call 970-226-6050. Scan QR for our website 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com Mortuary Coolers starting at $4,299 Beat the price increase increase coming March 2021