December 2018

Page A4 DECEMBER 2018 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS S ec t i on A Payment Direct to Funeral Home www.funeraldonationapp.com 919-777-6528 By Nancy Weil How the Holiday Season Changes Us The holiday season is a time for families to come togeth- er, a time to shop for the perfect gift for your loved one, a season of cookies, candy and all kinds of treats. Yet for families who lose a loved one during December, the pain seems a little more acute, the holiday festivities on TV and in the stores seem to mock them as they struggle to make it through the day, much less the holidays. There is no “Mer- ry” or “Happy” and the month becomes a numb blur as they plan the wake, funeral and burial. Family joins to- gether, but not to gather around the table and share stories of holidays past and create new memories together. While losing a loved one is always difficult, somehow when a death occurs in December, it seems as if the holidays will forever be dimmed by the memory of their loss. Many funeral homes and cemeteries hold remembrance services around the holidays. They invite in speakers to of- fer tips for handling the holidays and place wreaths out on the graves. They focus on those they have served in the past and continue to be there for the newly bereaved. The focus is on the family at hand, yet in all of our daily routine, we also find the need to address howwe feel during this season. It is hard not to find your heart reaching out a little more when a family has just suffered a loss so close to the holi- days. While we serve all of our families with compassion and care, some remain in our hearts forever. We think of Random Musings them when we look back at our careers. Some of those sto- ries are ones that are especially poignant because of the time of year when the death occurred. It is the young mother who has died from cancer just before Christmas and leaves behind three children, a husband and her parents wondering how they will make Christ- mas seem special for the young ones, while their own hearts are shattered. It is the widower whose wife of 62 years is laid to rest on December 23. It is the teenager who is suddenly killed in a car ac- cident while out with her friends and is buried in her new holiday outfit. We must find a way to cope with our own feel- ings while serving each family with the same lev- el of professionalism we provide throughout the year. We are not robots, we are human and it is this compassion that leaves us with two options of handling our feelings – we can either step into the feeling or shut them off. Some may feel that to avoid compassion fatigue it is best to keep professional, yet impersonal. To keep a step away from any actual feelings about the situation and just “do your job.” I think moving closer to your own emotions allows you to address your feel- ings, rather than shut them down. Acknowledge what you are feeling and allow your emotions to inspire and guide you in the work you do, the way you approach your own family and how you handle your own comfort level when dealing with intense feelings. Being in this industry changes how we approach each day. We no longer take a moment for granted, we don’t “put off for tomorrow” for tomorrow may never come. We hug our family a little longer, we treasure each simple moment for the miracle it is and, when we gather together to celebrate the holidays, we truly celebrate being together with those we love. The families we serve have taught us through their own grief to honor the “Merry” and the “Happy” times. We don’t need to close our hearts off in order to handle the tough cases of loss during the holiday season. Instead we open our hearts more, take extra care of those we serve this month and vow to have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Chanu- kah and wish for a year ahead full of blessings and joy. www.nomispublications.com Funeral Home & Cemetery News Contributors share insights and exchange ideas. B logs Serving as Member Resources Director at the International Or- der of the Golden Rule, Nancy Weil brings her years of experi- ence working in the funeral industry to funeral directors across the globe. Her professional experience includes serving as Director of Grief Support and Community Outreach at Veterans Funeral Care in Clearwater, FL and at eleven cemeteries in Western New York. Nancy travels throughout the country offering presentations on how to reduce stress, combat compassion fatigue and offer sup- port for those who are grieving through her company, The Laugh Academy. With certifications as a Grief Services Provider and Grief Man- agement Specialist, Funeral Celebrant, Soul Injury Ambassador and Laughter Leader, Nancy is uniquely qualified to bring new perspectives into how to best meet the needs of the families you serve. For more information on how Nancy can help you and your company grow, visit her website: www.TheLaughAcademy.com or e-mail Nancy@TheLaughAcademy.com. www.nomi s publ i cat i ons . com The Physical Science of Embalming: Fast & Slow To address how distribution is directly affected by drain- age, one must thoroughly understand fluid in motion vs. fluid not in motion. Fluid which is moving or flowing, as we better understand, is considered to be low in pressure. Con- versely, if fluid is not moving or flowing, the fluid is consid- ered to have high pressure. As an example, fluid within a ves- sel flowing in and out equally is without pressure, and so will not saturate the surrounding tissue. If drainage was restrict- ed, pressure would accumulate within the vessel and saturate the surrounding tissue. To have a greater understanding of this, consider reading more on the Bernoulli Principle. Low pressure can have a greater ability to distribute flu- id. Without pressure how could this be? It is important to realize that flow and pressure are not mutually exclu- sive. For example, you can have fluid moving very fast at high pressure, and moving slowly with low pressure. For our purposes, please continue to allow slow to be high pressure, and fast to be low pressure. The result of greater distribution with low pressure or fast flowing fluid traces back to vascular design. There are many cross-sections of vessels throughout the vascular system, on both the arte- rial side and the venous side. After death, pooled or still blood will coagulate, forming thick masses which can ob- struct or impact the flow of fluid. Other circumstances, such as true clots or obstructions, may also exist and pose greater challenges to the embalmer. When we flow fluid across these section of vessels, we enact a Venturi effect upon the obstructions. The Venturi effect is a vacuum or suction effect that works much like a hydro-aspirator. The obstructions are pulled into the larger vessels where Continued on Page A6 Submitted by The Mortuary Scientist www.nomispublications.com News Funeral Home & Cemetery online