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OCTOBER 2013
FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS
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Come see us in BOOTH # 631
2013 NFDA International Convention & Expo
emotional needs expressed in its sportive counterpart.
At Easter and Halloween, the theme of both is pre-
cisely the same: death.
While I personally do not like undertaker jokes, I
believe that when anybody confronts death honestly,
whether it is in jest as in Halloween, or in all serious-
ness as in Easter, one may very well reduce the intense
anxiety that surrounds the emotional hazard of per-
sonal death, personal grief, and personal dying.
I believe that in laughing we tend to reduce the
magnitude of the perceived threat. I suspect the worst
approach is to not laugh at death or take death se-
riously – but instead to be indifferent to the sub-
ject. That possibility and today’s reality frightens me.
Death illiterate, death indifferent people I believe can
and do dangerous things, for if one is numb, desen-
sitized, neutral, immune, and utterly indifferent to
death I believe they will be the same to life. I have a
suspicion that it is better for young people to use hu-
mor with each other than to kill each other.
Grief and death are sobering subjects. Sex is a sober-
ing subject. Financial security is a sobering subject.
Health care is a sobering subject. These subjects are
so sobering that if humor is not injected, if some light
hearted comment is not made the reverse of healing
and help will certainly occur. Fear will take over, and
while this might be a great motivator, too much fear
stops the human experience of questing for personal
peace and contentment in its tracks.
When the humor eventually comes my way about
my job, the endless undertaker jokes, I try to under-
stand, have a laugh, and not take it too seriously. Not
too long ago a man came up to me and said “Todd
do you know the definition of self-control?” I did not
know the answer, so the man replied, “It is the under-
taker trying to look sad at an $80,000 funeral!” He
laughed and laughed. I patted him on the back and
said “That is a good one.”
Emotionally, physically, spiritually and socially it is
just possible that the humor people employ to face
death and grief may be a useful and necessary device
for reducing one’s own anxieties to small sized bites
which are palpable and manageable. What I used to
view as offensive and inappropriate is, I believe, in
context, quite valid and helpful.
Humor & Death
Deborah Andres
International Leadership Excellence
is fluent in English, Span-
ish and French.
Andres currently serves
as a liaison for the Inter-
national Council for Di-
rection (a global funeral
service organization) and
serves on the Safety Advi-
sory Council for West Al-
lis/West Milwaukee Dis-
trict in Wisconsin.
sociation
of the Bahamas
, and a member of the
National
Funeral Directors & Morticians Association Inc.
He is an
advocate for much needed regulation of funeral service
in the Bahamas. For more information visit www.emer-
aldridgemortuary.com.
Deborah Andres, Vice President, International
Division NFDA
As vice president of
National Funeral Directors Associa-
tion’s International Division
,
Deborah Andres
manages in-
ternational membership development; organizes interna-
tional funeral service trade shows, and works closely with
international vendors and funeral directors regarding repa-
triation and disaster management. She has been published
in funeral services trade publications in the USA, Europe,
Latin America and Asia, and often speaks at international
trade shows and other events related to funeral service.
Andres graduated from John Abbott College/Vanier
College with a bachelor of arts in police technology. She
honor of providing services for some of the noted per-
sons in their society, such as the late former Member of
Parliament the Hon. James Joseph Isaac Shepherd and
the late Pastor of Zion Baptist Church Rev. Dr. Charles
Clifford Smith II.
In 2006 Wendell and the Emerald Ridge Mortuary
& Monument Company Ltd. became the first funeral
home in the Bahamas with a website and online obituar-
ies where family and friends could express condolences,
sympathy and share memories of the deceased. Emerald
Ridge was the first funeral home in the Bahamas to create
video tributes of the deceased to be viewed in the online
obituary and on DVD tributes so that family and friends
can have their own personal copy of those memories.
He and his wife, the former Rosmarie Ingraham,
have two sons,
Chas Elijah Roshad
and
Wendell G.
Dean III
. He is a member of the historic Bethel Baptist
Church, the oldest Baptist Church in the Bahamas.
Dean is President of the
United Funeral Directors As-
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