February 2019

Page A28 FEBRUARY 2019 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS S ec t i on A 2019 NFDA Professional Women’s Conference Annapolis, MD • April 12-14 The premier event for women in funeral service! Generate new ideas for your business and create lasting friendships with other women in funeral service! nfda.org/pwc 2019_PWC_NOMIS Ad1.indd 1 1/7/19 9:05 AM ® Free Marketing Support for Today’s Funeral Professionals The Funeral and Memorial Information Council (FAMIC) created Have the Talk of a Lifetime ® – a national campaign that encourages people to find out what matters most to their loved ones, so they can celebrate life when the time comes. We’ve prepared free marketing materials for use in your community, including: print and digital ads, PR materials, social media, and more. FAMIC members can download materials at: FAMIC.org Have questions? Email us at: HavetheTalkofaLifetime@gmail.com One in Five Men Will Be Widowed – Some of Them Twice! By Herb Knoll Herb Knoll Look around you. One in five men that you know will eventually be widowed. And when their loss occurs, do you know what steps you can take in hopes of helping them deal with their grief? Do you have any idea what you will say to them after you bump into them at the local gro- cery store? Unfortunately, most people do not. Why is this? Answer: Because so- ciety has imposed unrealis- tic expectations on widowed men. After all, in the view of most people, men are sup- posed to behave in a man- ly fashion at all times. You know, tough! After interviewing wid- owers from across America and beyond, I concluded, Widowers don’t believe they have permission to grieve. The problem started when parents began repeatedly telling their sons, “Boys don’t cry.” I wonder who came up with that idea anyway, as the damage they have caused is incalculable. From a suicide rate 3-4 times greater than that of mar- ried men, and a 65 percent chance they will experience a serious health problem within twelve months of their wife’s passing, (to name just two of the challenges widow- ers face), it is no wonder widowed men retreat into the shadows of our communities to grieve. Sadly, and all too often, they do so alone! Widowed men are vulnerable. Regardless of how well anchored they believe themselves to be, widowed men are wounded and are in need of at- tention by those who love them. We have all known men (and women) who have returned from a military deployment where they endured the hor- rors of war, only to avoid any discussion about what hap- pened on the battlefields after they return home. Sadly, many of them are diagnosed with PTSD. So too are many widowed men. Yes, they too can be diagnosed with PTSD as well as diabetes, hypertension and other medical con- ditions. And it doesn’t stop there. Many widowers suffer from depression, troubled relationships, financial prob- lems, legal problems or apathy about their careers. Some lose faith in a higher power, while others attempt to reas- sure their family and friends, by telling them, “I’m fine.” Then they go on to make a series of poor life choices. The plight of the widowed men is even further magnified when men are widowed twice. Can you imagine the pain? As a remarried widower myself, the thought of becoming a two-time widower frightens me. Such was the case of the Moran brothers who I interviewed for my book, The Wid- owers Journey. Say hello to Harold of upstate New York and Earnest who lives in Arizona, each a double widower. Continued on Page A29 www . n o m i s p u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m New website options designed to assist with Your Trade Work Your Real Source. Anywhere. Anytime. 9:41AM 100% http://www.nomispublications.com Search 1-800-321-7479 • POBox5159,Youngstown,Ohio 44514 • Fax:1-800-321-9040 info@nomispublications.com